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FIC: The Best Bang Since the Big One
Title: The Best Bang Since the Big One
Fandom: Torchwood/Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Prompt: 137 - bleach at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
tamingthemuse
Warnings: Puns and flirting
Rating: Teen
Summary: It was at a dive bar at the end of the universe, Milliway’s by name, that Jack Harkness met the most interesting man he was ever to meet.
Disclaimer: I own neither fandom and haven’t had time to have this Britpicked.
A/N: This idea has been in the back of my head for months. I finally decided to start writing it.
As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
*************
It was at a dive bar at the end of the universe, Milliway’s by name, that Jack Harkness met the most interesting man he was ever to meet. It was partially the way the man sat next to him and grinned, with one of his two heads, and partially the way the other head looked Jack up and down with obvious relish.
“Well, you’re a pretty bit aren’t you?”
Jack, being no stranger to being hit upon, grinned. “I like to think so.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” The grinning head spoke this time and Jack shifted his gaze to that pair of eyes.
“Listen, I’m not stranger to threesomes, but…”
“Nah, man, don’t worry. We’re together.” Both heads spoke at once and Jack jumped as an arm, clearly not one of the two resting on the bar, reached up to clap him on the shoulder.
“How many of you are there?” Jack asked, looking the man over with increasing interest.
“Just one of what counts.” Both heads laughed and Jack chuckled. “The name’s Zaphod, mate. What’s yours?”
“Captain Jack Harkness.”
“Oh, I like a military man.” Zaphod signaled the waiter, a dour looking man in a tux who seemed to no more be inclined to believe that he worked in a four star restaurant than they were to believe him. “Two Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, monsignor.”
Jack’s eyebrow shot up. “Serious drinker, are you, Zaphod?”
“You have no idea, mate.” The two headed alien leered at him. “This is my drink.”
“Huh.” Jack shrugged as the drink was set in front of him. “The first two are okay, but the third one gives me a bitch of a hangover.”
All four of Zaphod’s eyebrows shot up. “The third one?”
Jack smirked. “The third one.”
“Listen kid, the last man I saw drink a third Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster ended up needing a lot of bleach to get his clothes clean, not that it mattered much since his head had exploded.”
“Yeah, like I said… a hell of a hangover.”
Zaphod grinned. “You’re not right, kid.”
“I’ve been told that before,” Jack grinned back. “Usually that’s the line I get right before I get ditched at the end of time.”
“Oh, you’ve been here before?” Zaphod pushed one of the drinks towards Jack. “I think we can make sure you enjoy this evening a lot more.”
Jack picked up his glass and clinked it against Zaphod’s. “So,” he switched his gaze back and forth between Zaphod’s two mouths. “Just one of what counts?”
“Yeah, mate. No worries.”
“I wasn’t worried.” Jack clinked his glass against Zaphod’s. “I was thinking it was kind of a pity.” Then he threw back the drink with relish.
Zaphod stared at him for a second before following suit and both men cried out when the drink hit them fully.
“So,” Jack wiped tears out of his eyes. “Another round?”
Zaphod was waiving over the waiter even as he wiped the tears out of his own eyes. “Keep ‘em coming, mate.”
“Zaphod,” Jack chuckled. “I think I like your style.”
“Then you’ll love everything else about me.” Zaphod grinned.
Fandom: Torchwood/Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Prompt: 137 - bleach at
tamingthemuseWarnings: Puns and flirting
Rating: Teen
Summary: It was at a dive bar at the end of the universe, Milliway’s by name, that Jack Harkness met the most interesting man he was ever to meet.
Disclaimer: I own neither fandom and haven’t had time to have this Britpicked.
A/N: This idea has been in the back of my head for months. I finally decided to start writing it.
As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
*************
It was at a dive bar at the end of the universe, Milliway’s by name, that Jack Harkness met the most interesting man he was ever to meet. It was partially the way the man sat next to him and grinned, with one of his two heads, and partially the way the other head looked Jack up and down with obvious relish.
“Well, you’re a pretty bit aren’t you?”
Jack, being no stranger to being hit upon, grinned. “I like to think so.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” The grinning head spoke this time and Jack shifted his gaze to that pair of eyes.
“Listen, I’m not stranger to threesomes, but…”
“Nah, man, don’t worry. We’re together.” Both heads spoke at once and Jack jumped as an arm, clearly not one of the two resting on the bar, reached up to clap him on the shoulder.
“How many of you are there?” Jack asked, looking the man over with increasing interest.
“Just one of what counts.” Both heads laughed and Jack chuckled. “The name’s Zaphod, mate. What’s yours?”
“Captain Jack Harkness.”
“Oh, I like a military man.” Zaphod signaled the waiter, a dour looking man in a tux who seemed to no more be inclined to believe that he worked in a four star restaurant than they were to believe him. “Two Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, monsignor.”
Jack’s eyebrow shot up. “Serious drinker, are you, Zaphod?”
“You have no idea, mate.” The two headed alien leered at him. “This is my drink.”
“Huh.” Jack shrugged as the drink was set in front of him. “The first two are okay, but the third one gives me a bitch of a hangover.”
All four of Zaphod’s eyebrows shot up. “The third one?”
Jack smirked. “The third one.”
“Listen kid, the last man I saw drink a third Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster ended up needing a lot of bleach to get his clothes clean, not that it mattered much since his head had exploded.”
“Yeah, like I said… a hell of a hangover.”
Zaphod grinned. “You’re not right, kid.”
“I’ve been told that before,” Jack grinned back. “Usually that’s the line I get right before I get ditched at the end of time.”
“Oh, you’ve been here before?” Zaphod pushed one of the drinks towards Jack. “I think we can make sure you enjoy this evening a lot more.”
Jack picked up his glass and clinked it against Zaphod’s. “So,” he switched his gaze back and forth between Zaphod’s two mouths. “Just one of what counts?”
“Yeah, mate. No worries.”
“I wasn’t worried.” Jack clinked his glass against Zaphod’s. “I was thinking it was kind of a pity.” Then he threw back the drink with relish.
Zaphod stared at him for a second before following suit and both men cried out when the drink hit them fully.
“So,” Jack wiped tears out of his eyes. “Another round?”
Zaphod was waiving over the waiter even as he wiped the tears out of his own eyes. “Keep ‘em coming, mate.”
“Zaphod,” Jack chuckled. “I think I like your style.”
“Then you’ll love everything else about me.” Zaphod grinned.