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FIC: Climbing Mt. Everest
Title: Climbing Mt. Everest
Fandom: Astonishing X-men
Warnings: Spoilers for all of Whedon's run.
Rating: General
Summary: Hisako wanted to be an X-men. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.
Disclaimer: Not my fandom, but I do really like it. *grins*
Dedication: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alixtii for the Catchallthon hosted by inlovewithnight.
Prompts: Kitty Pryde and any student, dealing with grief.
A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Many thanks tolikeadeuce for the beta. All remaining mistakes are mine.
******************
It was dark. It was dark enough that there was nothing to distract Hisako from her thoughts and she wanted to stop thinking. Hot tears squeezed out from under her eyelids and tracked their way slowly down her cheeks to join the others already dampening her hair. She took a deep breath and rolled on her side, pulling her covers higher.
The pillow was wet. Violently, Hisako sat up and threw the pillow across the room. Climbing to her feet, she grabbed her robe from the foot of her bed. Shoving her arms into it, she tied it around her waist and pushed open the door. She didn’t bother with shoes.
The hallway was quiet, but that was unsurprising. It had been an eventful night, between the X-men going on a mission and finding Piotr Rasputin and Ord attacking the mansion. Hisako doubted anyone was asleep, but she didn’t blame them for laying low. If she could just get the sound of Wing’s cries out of her mind, she might have done the same thing.
Silently, Hisako made her way down to the infirmary. The smell of antiseptic tickled her nose, and she could hear machines whirring softly behind closed doors. She was almost at the end of the hallway when an arm appeared through the wall that led to the lab. Squeaking in surprise, Hisako backed away two steps before the rest of the body followed.
“Hello?” Kitty Pryde looked almost as alarmed as Hisako felt. “What are you doing here?”
“You scared me!” Hisako shot back, hand still pressed to her stomach. She could feel the energy shields of her armor just under her skin and took a deep breath. There was no way she wanted any of the teachers to know just how spooked she still was.
Kitty’s face softened and Hisako realized that Kitty was exhausted. It wasn’t surprising, if even half of what she’d heard was true. “I’m sorry,” Kitty said. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”
“Yeah. It is the middle of the night.” Hisako pulled her robe tighter, feeling ridiculously underdressed next to the woman who was still in her uniform.
Kitty pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes. “Hisako, right? Did you come to check on Eddie?”
“He goes by Wing.” The answer was immediate and defensive and Hisako flushed.
“Wing.” Kitty confirmed gently, shifting her weight.
Hisako shrugged, feeling stupid. “I just wanted to make sure he was…” She trailed off. He was what? Fine? Comfortable? Not dead? She shrugged again.
“I think he’s asleep.” Kitty answered, kindly. “I heard Hank say that you saved him.”
“No, I didn’t.” Hisako looked down at her feet. The red polish she’d put on her toes was chipping off. “I didn’t save him.”
“You caught him,” Kitty corrected. “You caught him when he was falling.”
“I broke half the bones in his body.” Hisako looked up, eyes bright with anger. “If it hadn’t been for Josh … Elixir, Wing would have died.”
“If you hadn’t caught him, he would have died.” Kitty reached out to rest a hand on Hisako’s shoulder and Hisako shrugged it off. Kitty’s hand dropped to the bench between them. “That wouldn’t have been your fault either.”
“Really?” Hisako challenged. “You wouldn’t feel guilty if our positions were reversed? Who are you here to see?”
Kitty flushed and looked away and Hisako immediately felt like a bitch. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“It’s all right. It hasn’t been a good night for anyone. What we do, being X-men,” she glanced at Hisako, “or training to be X-men – it isn’t easy. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes in life, bad things happen.”
“I’ll say.” Hisako slumped against the wall. She could feel tears threatening again. “Wing is a good guy. He’s my best friend. It isn’t fair.”
“No.” Kitty’s voice was very quiet. “It isn’t fair when bad things happen to good people. But it does. And it will. We can only do so much, Hisako. The important thing is that we keep doing it.”
“How is Mr. Rasputin?” The question burst out of Hisako’s mouth before she could change her mind, but she didn’t turn away.
“Hank says that he’s physically healthy.” Kitty’s answer was carefully neutral. “He needs rest.”
“I guess coming back from the dead is hard work.” Hisako could feel a thread of hysteria in her gut and she clapped her hand over her mouth, stifling her giggles. Kitty blinked at her in astonishment, then slowly cracked a smile.
“It must be. It always takes a lot out of everybody when it happens.”
“What about when it doesn’t happen?” Hisako asked, suddenly sober. “What are we supposed to do if Ord comes back? If someone else comes? They always keep coming.”
This time Hisako didn’t move away from Kitty’s touch and Kitty squeezed her shoulder. “We do just what you did. Catch our friends when they fall. Try and help them recover. Be their friend.”
“Wing has a crush on you.” Hisako blurted out that secret before she could stop herself and Kitty laughed softly.
“Are you sure he doesn’t think I’m a fucking retard?”
Hisako and Kitty both burst into giggles. “He told me about that.” Hisako managed. “He didn’t mean it.”
Kitty shook her head. “He has a funny way of paying someone a compliment.”
“You make him nervous.” Hisako shrugged. “He’ll get over it.”
“He’s lucky he has you for a friend,” Kitty smiled. “Now, go and check on him. And then go back to bed. That’s good advice for both of us, actually.”
“Thanks, Ms. Pryde.” Hisako stood up, feeling slightly better. “Good night and I hope Mr. Rasputin feels better soon.”
“Me too.”
********************
Hisako sat at one of the dining room tables and stared at her hands. There was blood under her fingernails. Wing’s blood. The other students were staying away from her, respecting her grief, afraid it might be contagious.
The X-men were gone. They’d followed Danger to Genosha, leaving the students to watch after themselves as best they could. Hisako had recruited Elixir to help with Wing’s body, once Elixir had been able to walk again.
“Hey.” Hisako glanced up at the Cuckoos, mouth tightening.
“What do you want?”
One of them, and she didn’t really care which, frowned. “Eddie’s parents are on the phone.” She glanced at her sisters. “Dr. McCoy spoke with them earlier. His mother wants to speak to you.”
“Oh.” Hisako stood up and walked haltingly towards the phone. The other students backed hastily out of the way.
“Hello?” Hysterical ranting made Hisako jerk the phone away from her ear. She glanced around the room at the students all staring back at her with mixed looks of horror and sympathy. Some were openly weeping.
“I’m sorry,” Hisako’s voice broke. “It was an accident.” The voice through the phone blurred until all Hisako heard was static. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She dropped the phone and ran out of the room. No one followed her. Frantically, she went into the bathroom and stripped down. Turning the water on hot enough that it was burning, she began to scrub her skin. When the last of the bloody swirls vanished down the drain, Hisako turned the water off.
Blindfold was standing in the bathroom waiting for her. Hisako grabbed a towel. “What do you want?”
“You did what you could.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“We all did what we could.”
”It wasn’t enough!” Hisako’s resolve broke and she started crying. Sinking to the floor, she wept until she didn’t have any tears left.
“What will you do now?” Blindfold asked, curiously. She hadn’t moved during Hisako’s crying.
Rubbing her eyes, Hisako shakily climbed to her feet. “What I can.”
She left the bathroom without a backwards glance.
********************
“Do you regret it?” Blindfold caught Hisako by surprise and she looked up from her bed.
“Regret what?”
“Becoming an X-men.” The blind mutant stood in the doorway, her expression bland. “Travelling to different worlds. Having adventures. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
She fell silent and Hisako looked away, not answering for a long moment.
“It sucks,” she finally replied.
“You saved the world.”
“No, I didn’t.” Hisako trailed her hand over the threads in her bedspread. “Shadowcat did. Kitty did.”
Blindfold nodded, pulling her shawl tighter. “She was the only one who could.”
Hisako swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “Exactly. She was an X-man and she did what only she could do.”
“Will you quit?”
“No.” Hisako’s answer was fierce. “Bad things happen to good people. That’s no reason to quit.”
“Ms. Pryde would be happy to hear your answer.”
“I’m not doing it for her.” Hisako stood up. “I’m doing it because I can.”
“I think,” Blindfold commented as Hisako brushed past her, “that you will make a very good X-man.”
Hisako hoped so. She had no idea what would happen in the future - except she knew what would happen in the next five minutes. She was going to find Logan and pick a fight.
Fandom: Astonishing X-men
Warnings: Spoilers for all of Whedon's run.
Rating: General
Summary: Hisako wanted to be an X-men. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.
Disclaimer: Not my fandom, but I do really like it. *grins*
Dedication: Written for
alixtii for the Catchallthon hosted by inlovewithnight. Prompts: Kitty Pryde and any student, dealing with grief.
A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Many thanks to
likeadeuce for the beta. All remaining mistakes are mine. ******************
It was dark. It was dark enough that there was nothing to distract Hisako from her thoughts and she wanted to stop thinking. Hot tears squeezed out from under her eyelids and tracked their way slowly down her cheeks to join the others already dampening her hair. She took a deep breath and rolled on her side, pulling her covers higher.
The pillow was wet. Violently, Hisako sat up and threw the pillow across the room. Climbing to her feet, she grabbed her robe from the foot of her bed. Shoving her arms into it, she tied it around her waist and pushed open the door. She didn’t bother with shoes.
The hallway was quiet, but that was unsurprising. It had been an eventful night, between the X-men going on a mission and finding Piotr Rasputin and Ord attacking the mansion. Hisako doubted anyone was asleep, but she didn’t blame them for laying low. If she could just get the sound of Wing’s cries out of her mind, she might have done the same thing.
Silently, Hisako made her way down to the infirmary. The smell of antiseptic tickled her nose, and she could hear machines whirring softly behind closed doors. She was almost at the end of the hallway when an arm appeared through the wall that led to the lab. Squeaking in surprise, Hisako backed away two steps before the rest of the body followed.
“Hello?” Kitty Pryde looked almost as alarmed as Hisako felt. “What are you doing here?”
“You scared me!” Hisako shot back, hand still pressed to her stomach. She could feel the energy shields of her armor just under her skin and took a deep breath. There was no way she wanted any of the teachers to know just how spooked she still was.
Kitty’s face softened and Hisako realized that Kitty was exhausted. It wasn’t surprising, if even half of what she’d heard was true. “I’m sorry,” Kitty said. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”
“Yeah. It is the middle of the night.” Hisako pulled her robe tighter, feeling ridiculously underdressed next to the woman who was still in her uniform.
Kitty pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes. “Hisako, right? Did you come to check on Eddie?”
“He goes by Wing.” The answer was immediate and defensive and Hisako flushed.
“Wing.” Kitty confirmed gently, shifting her weight.
Hisako shrugged, feeling stupid. “I just wanted to make sure he was…” She trailed off. He was what? Fine? Comfortable? Not dead? She shrugged again.
“I think he’s asleep.” Kitty answered, kindly. “I heard Hank say that you saved him.”
“No, I didn’t.” Hisako looked down at her feet. The red polish she’d put on her toes was chipping off. “I didn’t save him.”
“You caught him,” Kitty corrected. “You caught him when he was falling.”
“I broke half the bones in his body.” Hisako looked up, eyes bright with anger. “If it hadn’t been for Josh … Elixir, Wing would have died.”
“If you hadn’t caught him, he would have died.” Kitty reached out to rest a hand on Hisako’s shoulder and Hisako shrugged it off. Kitty’s hand dropped to the bench between them. “That wouldn’t have been your fault either.”
“Really?” Hisako challenged. “You wouldn’t feel guilty if our positions were reversed? Who are you here to see?”
Kitty flushed and looked away and Hisako immediately felt like a bitch. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“It’s all right. It hasn’t been a good night for anyone. What we do, being X-men,” she glanced at Hisako, “or training to be X-men – it isn’t easy. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes in life, bad things happen.”
“I’ll say.” Hisako slumped against the wall. She could feel tears threatening again. “Wing is a good guy. He’s my best friend. It isn’t fair.”
“No.” Kitty’s voice was very quiet. “It isn’t fair when bad things happen to good people. But it does. And it will. We can only do so much, Hisako. The important thing is that we keep doing it.”
“How is Mr. Rasputin?” The question burst out of Hisako’s mouth before she could change her mind, but she didn’t turn away.
“Hank says that he’s physically healthy.” Kitty’s answer was carefully neutral. “He needs rest.”
“I guess coming back from the dead is hard work.” Hisako could feel a thread of hysteria in her gut and she clapped her hand over her mouth, stifling her giggles. Kitty blinked at her in astonishment, then slowly cracked a smile.
“It must be. It always takes a lot out of everybody when it happens.”
“What about when it doesn’t happen?” Hisako asked, suddenly sober. “What are we supposed to do if Ord comes back? If someone else comes? They always keep coming.”
This time Hisako didn’t move away from Kitty’s touch and Kitty squeezed her shoulder. “We do just what you did. Catch our friends when they fall. Try and help them recover. Be their friend.”
“Wing has a crush on you.” Hisako blurted out that secret before she could stop herself and Kitty laughed softly.
“Are you sure he doesn’t think I’m a fucking retard?”
Hisako and Kitty both burst into giggles. “He told me about that.” Hisako managed. “He didn’t mean it.”
Kitty shook her head. “He has a funny way of paying someone a compliment.”
“You make him nervous.” Hisako shrugged. “He’ll get over it.”
“He’s lucky he has you for a friend,” Kitty smiled. “Now, go and check on him. And then go back to bed. That’s good advice for both of us, actually.”
“Thanks, Ms. Pryde.” Hisako stood up, feeling slightly better. “Good night and I hope Mr. Rasputin feels better soon.”
“Me too.”
********************
Hisako sat at one of the dining room tables and stared at her hands. There was blood under her fingernails. Wing’s blood. The other students were staying away from her, respecting her grief, afraid it might be contagious.
The X-men were gone. They’d followed Danger to Genosha, leaving the students to watch after themselves as best they could. Hisako had recruited Elixir to help with Wing’s body, once Elixir had been able to walk again.
“Hey.” Hisako glanced up at the Cuckoos, mouth tightening.
“What do you want?”
One of them, and she didn’t really care which, frowned. “Eddie’s parents are on the phone.” She glanced at her sisters. “Dr. McCoy spoke with them earlier. His mother wants to speak to you.”
“Oh.” Hisako stood up and walked haltingly towards the phone. The other students backed hastily out of the way.
“Hello?” Hysterical ranting made Hisako jerk the phone away from her ear. She glanced around the room at the students all staring back at her with mixed looks of horror and sympathy. Some were openly weeping.
“I’m sorry,” Hisako’s voice broke. “It was an accident.” The voice through the phone blurred until all Hisako heard was static. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She dropped the phone and ran out of the room. No one followed her. Frantically, she went into the bathroom and stripped down. Turning the water on hot enough that it was burning, she began to scrub her skin. When the last of the bloody swirls vanished down the drain, Hisako turned the water off.
Blindfold was standing in the bathroom waiting for her. Hisako grabbed a towel. “What do you want?”
“You did what you could.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“We all did what we could.”
”It wasn’t enough!” Hisako’s resolve broke and she started crying. Sinking to the floor, she wept until she didn’t have any tears left.
“What will you do now?” Blindfold asked, curiously. She hadn’t moved during Hisako’s crying.
Rubbing her eyes, Hisako shakily climbed to her feet. “What I can.”
She left the bathroom without a backwards glance.
********************
“Do you regret it?” Blindfold caught Hisako by surprise and she looked up from her bed.
“Regret what?”
“Becoming an X-men.” The blind mutant stood in the doorway, her expression bland. “Travelling to different worlds. Having adventures. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
She fell silent and Hisako looked away, not answering for a long moment.
“It sucks,” she finally replied.
“You saved the world.”
“No, I didn’t.” Hisako trailed her hand over the threads in her bedspread. “Shadowcat did. Kitty did.”
Blindfold nodded, pulling her shawl tighter. “She was the only one who could.”
Hisako swallowed hard, blinking back tears. “Exactly. She was an X-man and she did what only she could do.”
“Will you quit?”
“No.” Hisako’s answer was fierce. “Bad things happen to good people. That’s no reason to quit.”
“Ms. Pryde would be happy to hear your answer.”
“I’m not doing it for her.” Hisako stood up. “I’m doing it because I can.”
“I think,” Blindfold commented as Hisako brushed past her, “that you will make a very good X-man.”
Hisako hoped so. She had no idea what would happen in the future - except she knew what would happen in the next five minutes. She was going to find Logan and pick a fight.