FIC: Constant Carnival
Apr. 5th, 2009 03:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ficwizeTitle: Constant Carnival
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Rating: Teen
Summary:
Disclaimer: I own neither fandom and make no money doing this.
A/N: This is dedicated to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
musesinspire, who did me a lot of favors when I needed them. She asked for some Derek/Dawn and suggested Carnivals of Rust by Poets of the Fall as a prompt.
Many thanks tostrangevisitor7 for the beta. It's much better because of you!
As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
*************
Timeline Notes: Dawn Summers was supposedly born in 1986. Derek Reese was born in 1995. Judgment Day, for the purposes of this story, occurred on April 21, 2011. Kyle Reese was taken prisoner and held in the Century Prison Camp from 2015-2021. This story takes place at some point in 2016.
Everything being a constant carnival, there is no carnival left. ~ Victor Hugo
Blue eyes. That was the first thing Derek noticed when he woke up. He blinked and the face containing the blue eyes swam into focus, delicate features peering at him curiously. The woman, for it was a woman, stared at him wordlessly and a jolt of adrenaline made Derek sit up straight. He threw his feet over the side of the bed and reached automatically for his sidearm.
"Commandeered." The woman's voice was surprisingly steady. "There are soldiers who need it."
"I need it." Derek croaked, his throat raw. His vision swam and for a terrifying second, Derek thought he was going to pass out.
"You can't even stand up." The comment was wry, as if she were observing the weather. "You don't need it. Right now, you couldn't even use it."
"You stole it."
"Consider it payment for saving your life." Derek focused on her face again when he felt her hand press against his chest. He hadn't even noticed that she'd come closer to him. "Lie down before you pass out. You're suffering from shock and blood loss." The woman pressed against him firmly.
"What happened?" Derek tried to resist her, but she was a lot stronger than she looked.
"None of that matters right now." The woman shook her head. "Ask me in the morning."
"Is it night?" Derek looked around the room for the first time. He was clearly in an underground tunnel and that made him relax a little more. Humans lived underground. Metal owned above ground. "Where am I?"
"Ask those questions in the morning, too." Derek felt a fleeting pain in his arm and looked down to see her jab a hypodermic needle into his skin and depress the plunger. "I'm pretty sure that you'll survive that long now." He wanted to ask more questions, but the drug she'd given him was already making his vision blurry.
"Who are you?" He managed to whisper one last question before his eyes shut and he felt his conscious mind being dragged deeper and deeper into oblivion.
"Dawn." He wasn't sure if she answered him or he imagined it, but either way, it was a fitting name. He tried to whisper her name back, but it was too late. He was asleep.
*********************
The second time he woke up, Derek looked for Dawn before he was even fully coherent. She was sitting at a makeshift desk against the concrete wall, reading something in the meager lamplight afforded her by a small lantern. "Dawn." It came out as barely a whisper and he licked his lips painfully.
She turned immediately at the sound of his voice. "How are you feeling?"
"Water?" He watched as she obliged, moving towards a pitcher and a cup on a table near the door. She poured a small amount of the liquid into the cup before coming over to press it into his shaking hand. When he slopped some of it over his hand, she took his hand and guided it to his mouth.
"Drink slowly. You don't want to make yourself sick."
"Are you a nurse?" Derek glanced up at her, taking in her appearance for the first time. Her long brown hair was bound up at her neck, but some strands had escaped, falling across her face and down over her shoulders. She was older than he was, he guessed, probably in her late twenties, but she didn't have that beaten and scared look that most of the women – hell, most of the people – wore. She seemed confident and assured. Derek relaxed slightly at her poise.
"No. I've just done a lot of field training." She pulled the cup away from his unresisting fingers.
"What happened?" Derek asked again, laying back against the pillow and cursing the fact that he felt so weak.
"You took on a Triple 8." Dawn eyed him critically. "That better not have been some pathetic attempt at suicide. I could have given those antibiotics to two dozen other people."
Derek blinked, trying to remember. "I don't remember anything."
"What do you remember?" Dawn asked, taking his pulse.
Derek frowned. "I was looking for the Resistance."
"Why?" Dawn demanded, dropping his wrist and looking up at him sharply.
"To join." Derek shook his head, still grasping at a memory that lay just beyond his reach. "To fight."
"Why?" Dawn asked more softly. She reached over to brush away a few strands of hair that lay matted on his forehead and he looked at her in surprise.
"You're beautiful." The compliment was unthinking and Dawn blushed slightly. Derek, flushed as well, moved his head slightly so that she wasn't touching him anymore. "My brother. The Machines have my brother. I want him back."
Pity. That was the emotion that flooded her beautiful blue eyes and Derek slapped at her hand when she tried to touch him again. "Don't you dare look at me like that. Kyle is alive. I know he's alive."
"Well then." Dawn stood up and went to the desk she'd been sitting at earlier. Digging into a drawer, she pulled out the handgun that Derek had stolen two weeks after Judgment Day. She checked to make sure it was loaded, snapping the magazine back into place. "You'll need this back, soldier. You've found the Resistance."
"I did?" Derek took the gun, automatically checking to see if it was loaded. He looked up to see Dawn watching him approvingly.
"Yeah." She smiled at him, the first real smile he'd seen in ages. "What's your name?"
"Reese. Derek Reese."
"Welcome to the Resistance, Derek Reese." Dawn held out her hand solemnly and Derek gave her the gun back. "Get some sleep. You're already scheduled to be moved out of isolation before the end of the day. Once you're healed, you'll report to Lieutenant Summers. You'll need your rest."
"I will?"
"Yeah." Dawn's smile turned mischievous. "That's my older sister and she's just aching to tear you a new one for going up against a Triple 8 with a handgun." Dawn leaned down and whispered conspiratorially. "Although I think she mostly wants to hear how you managed to survive it."
"Easy." Derek mumbled, feeling sleepy again. He reached up and caught Dawn's hand and pressed it lightly to the bandage covering his chest. "You saved me."
"I did." Dawn gently freed her hand. "Don't make me regret it."
*********************
Three weeks later, Derek discovered that Dawn had been right about her sister. Lt. Buffy Summers was a certifiable bitch. It had taken two weeks before Derek was released from observation. The third week was spent learning his way around and regaining as much strength as possible. As soon as Derek was cleared by medical, he reported for duty, falling into line with other new soldiers.
"What do we have here?" The derision packed into that sentence should have come from a six and a half foot man weighing 280 pounds, not the petite and tiny blond whisp of a woman standing in front of Derek.
"Derek Reese, ma'am."
"Did I ask you your name, soldier?" Buffy grabbed the front of his shirt and rucked it up, showing off the pink scars that crossed his chest. "I asked you what you were, not who you are. And the answer is clearly a complete lunatic!"
"No, ma'am." Derek was proud of the fact that his voice was steady. It took a genuine effort not to move away from the Lieutenant.
"No?" Buffy dropped his shirt and stepped back, hands falling behind her back in a mockery of the parade rest posture. "No? Would you prefer a lucky fool? A dumb ass who thinks he can get by on happenstance? Tell me what you are, then."
"A good fighter." Derek knew he shouldn't do it, but he couldn't keep the smug tone out of his voice as he provoked her. Around him, he heard a few of the other soldiers snicker, but he didn't have time to think about them before Buffy laughed in his face.
"You really think so?" She shrugged off her jacket and threw it at one of the soldiers next to Derek. "Then prove it."
"I'm… what?" Derek really looked at her for the first time, completely confused. "You want to fight me? Now?"
"Yes, now. I don't have time to waste while you grow up, little boy." Buffy sneered. "You think you're a good fighter, prove it. You've got about sixty pounds on me and a good foot of height. But I'll go easy on you, seeing as how you were cracked open like a ripe melon a few weeks ago. I'll only use one hand."
Derek stared at the tiny Lieutenant like she'd grown a second head until she snapped at him. "Move your ass, soldier, or so help me, I'll dump you back out for machine fodder. I don't have time to baby your ego."
Stung, Derek stepped forward into the fight, throwing a punch and putting his weight behind it. A second later, he was airborne. Landing heavily, he felt he air whoosh out of him and heard a burst of laughter from his so called companions. Struggling to breath, he lay there until Buffy bent over to stare down at him derisively. "I did that with one hand. But maybe it was just luck. Get up. We're going again."
Body protesting, Derek rolled to his hands and knees. Then he lunged at her from that position, not bothering to stand and hoping that a lower center of gravity would keep him on the ground. Which is exactly where he found himself a second later, pinned down by a tiny knee that ground into his kidney, and one hand on the back of his neck, shoving his face into the dirt.
"You're pathetic, Reese." Buffy leaned down and spoke quietly enough that no one could hear her but him. "You take on an enemy you can't beat, and you don't even have the balls to admit that you won because of luck. Grow up, boy, or you'll end up dead and I don't have time to train soldiers to be corpses."
She let him go and he got to his feet. Meeting her eyes, he nodded. "Ma'am."
"Fall in line." Buffy ordered, but there was no heat in it. She only sounded tired. "And check in with medical after the day is over. I want to make sure I didn't do anything to your ribs."
The rest of the day was agony. Derek kept up with the physical activities to the best of his ability and would have pushed himself harder, but Buffy rode herd on him and ordered him to stop anytime the strain got to be too much.
"I don't have time to wait for you to heal, you asshole!" He heard that comment so many times that he knew it'd haunt his sleep, but he was grateful. It was better than hearing Kyle's scream echoing through his dreams.
By the time it was over, Derek wanted to fall into his cot and sleep for a week, but Buffy's voice cracked at him like a whip. "Medical. Now."
Derek was too tired to argue, not that he thought it would do much good, so he obeyed, going back to the room with the long row of beds where he'd spent two weeks slowly healing. To his dismay, and although he looked, he hadn't seen Dawn again since he'd been released from isolation.
Knocking perfunctorily on the door, he opened it and went inside. "I've been ordered to have my ribs checked." He told the three people standing at the entrance. A voice to his left made him turn.
"I doubt that Buffy broke you in one day." Dawn smirked at him. "But I'd better check to be sure." She gestured for him to go and sit on a gurney. "Take your shirt off."
Derek obeyed, noticing for the first time how badly he smelled and how much worse he probably looked. "I didn't clean up first."
"No worries. Compared to blood and guts, sweat is easy to deal with." Dawn snapped on gloves and began pulling his bandages off. He watched her work, appreciating that she was clean and smelled nice and resisting the urge to touch her.
"It's nice to see you again." Derek blurted. "I was wondering what happened to you."
Dawn's face clouded. "There was a raid that went badly. I went to try and tend to our soldiers on the field as much as I could. We set up a makeshift hospital and just got back a few days ago."
"Where? Was it a murder squad or were they taking prisoners?" Derek tensed, reaching for his shirt.
"Hey." Dawn caught his face with one of her hands. "That's not your problem right now."
"If they were taking prisoners, I might be able to find Kyle."
"Derek, be realistic."
"You don't know what it's like!" Derek snapped, loudly enough that several others looked over at him. "Your sister is here! You get to see her every damn day! Don't tell me to be realistic."
Dawn glared at him angrily and then reached over and punched him in the ribs where he was injured. Sickening pain swept through Derek and he gasped, leaning forward to fight off the urge to either groan or throw up.
"Don't you dare presume to tell me how badly I don't have it." Dawn hissed in his ear. "I've lost people in this war – women who were like sisters to me, like my own flesh and blood. Family, even if they weren't related to me."
Clutching his ribs, Derek looked up at her in amazement. Her eyes were practically shooting out death lasers at him and he shrank back in embarrassment. "And you need a serious reality check. So what if you find Kyle? In the shape you're in right now, you couldn't help him. And how do you think he'd feel if he finds out that you killed yourself because you're a giant…" She stumbled to a stop, looking for a word.
"Asshole?" Derek suggested and she frowned at him.
"Yes. Asshole. You're a giant asshole."
"I'm sorry." Derek looked down at his hands. "You're right. I am an asshole. I didn't mean to imply that you haven't lost people. I just… I miss him. So much I can't breathe sometimes."
They stood in silence for a moment before Dawn sighed. "I know." She pressed against his side again, gently this time. "But I'm trying to help you save him. And so is Buffy, despite what you might think right now."
Derek studied Dawn, a smile quirking his lips. "I didn't see the family resemblance at first."
"And now?"
"When you get angry, you look just like her." Derek admitted, grinning more widely. "And I'd rather be anywhere but on the receiving end of that glare."
Dawn stopped what she was doing and matched his grin with one of her own. "Don't you forget it either." She stepped back. "You're fine, probably sore as hell, but fine."
"Good." Derek reached for his shirt, but Dawn pulled it away from him playfully. "Do I get pain pills now?"
"Nope." Dawn took a few steps backward, beckoning for him to follow her. "Now, I’m going to show you what the best part of being part of the Resistance is."
"Oh yeah? What? Because I have to tell you, the food really sucks."
Dawn laughed and threw his shirt at his face. "Follow me, tough guy. Don't bother putting your shirt back on yet."
More curious than he would let on, Derek followed Dawn through the door and down a long corridor. They had gone about a city block when Derek first heard water. "What is that?"
"I'll show you." Dawn finally reached the end of the hallway and shoved the door open. She stood back and waved her arm at the scene. "What do you think?"
"Showers." Derek stared at the shower room in amazement. Thus far, the best he'd managed was a sponge bath with a bowl of cold water. Here, he could see a dozen shower heads spraying various men and women with water as they bathed off the sweat and grime of a long day. "Dawn, I think I love you." He turned and leaned forward impetuously and pressed a kiss to her lips, catching her off guard.
Dawn froze and Derek stilled, realizing what he'd just done. Then he kissed her again, letting his lips linger on hers. "And that was for saving my life."
She sidestepped him before he could do anything else. "There's soap and towels in there. Don't take more than you need. It's a luxury and we all want to be able to stay relatively clean. When you're done, go and have one of the techs give you any pain pills you need."
"What about you?" Derek called after her retreating back.
"Me?" Dawn turned and smiled at him. "I'm going to go and yell at Buffy for abusing you too much when you're barely healed. She'll be expecting me."
Derek watched her run back down the hallway smiling slightly. "I sure wasn't expecting you," he admitted to no one before going and enjoying the first shower he'd had in months.
*********************
"You have to take out the brain," Buffy screamed in Derek's face, practically standing on her tiptoes to do so. "Not shoot the body! Do you listen to me?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Derek intoned, knowing it wouldn't do any good. "But I couldn't get a shot at the brain."
"Then you don't take a shot!" Buffy stepped away in disgust. "You save your ammunition and your firearms until it will do you some good! You've been here a month, soldier! This is stuff we covered on the first day."
"With all due respect, ma'am," Derek ground out between clenched teeth, "if I'd waited to shoot, it might have killed me."
"Give me your gun." Buffy held out her hand and he obeyed. Turning, she fired four shots at the moving target that was rigged to charge at the soldiers as they practiced. All four shots went into the body of the dummy. "Now I've wasted half my ammunition, it's still not dead, and when it finally gets close enough…" She turned and fired the gun again, the echoing click of an empty chamber making her point. "I'm dead."
She slammed the side gun into Derek's chest hard enough that he knew it'd bruise. Sometimes, he was more than a little convinced that Buffy was metal. She certainly was inhumanly strong for such a tiny woman. "You're dead."
"But…"
"Shut up." She snapped. "You're dead. I can't hear a single thing you've got to say. Get off my practice field."
"Lieutenant - " Buffy stepped towards him angrily.
"If you're not off this field by the time I count to three, I'll throw you off it." She'd do it, too. Abandoning his irritation and his pride, Derek turned and ran for cover. At the edge of the field, he slowed and heard her addressing the rest of his unit.
"So your commanding officer turned out to be an asshole and got himself killed. Now what?"
Slamming the door that led back to the barracks open, Derrick cursed, His daily ammunition allotment was expired. Until he was active, he got 30 rounds a day to train and he'd used most of them shooting at a metal heart that would never stop beating and never die. Damn it, Buffy was right. He did know better.
"Rough day?" Dawn's voice made him turn and he smiled sheepishly as he spotted the medic in the hallway.
"I know she's your sister, but Lt. Summers can be a real bitch."
"Tell me about it." Dawn grinned at him. "I haven't seen you around much."
"I've managed to stop hurting myself." Derek shrugged. "And I've been so tired at the end of the day, that falling asleep is work."
"Yeah, I know. Buffy's a hard task master, but she has her reasons. She can't stand to loose people. Every time a soldier she trains gets hurt… or worse… she blames herself." Dawn's smile faded.
Derek sobered. "It's a hard thing."
"What is?" Dawn asked, confused.
"Living in this world." Derek shrugged again, intending to say more, but Dawn's face drained of color. Derek grabbed her arm to keep her upright. "Dawn! What's wrong?"
"Noth… nothing." Dawn cleared her throat, but her smile was shaky and not reassuring. "You're right. I think it's the hardest thing, living in this world."
"I'm sorry." Derek's other hand moved to her back where he rubbed lightly. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't." Dawn shook her head and tried again to smile at him. "You just reminded me of someone for a moment."
"Who?"
"Buffy, actually. She told me that once." Dawn's eyes filled with tears and an unexpected desire to protect her made Derek put his arms around her and pull her in for a hug.
"Why the tears?"
"Because I'm afraid," Dawn admitted. "I'm afraid of loosing more people that I love."
There was nothing Derek could say to that, so he just held her, his fingers tracing her back lightly until she pulled away from him slightly. Derek noticed that she fit almost perfectly under his arm, her head tucked under his chin. "It's why I've been avoiding you." Dawn admitted slowly.
"I figured it was because I kissed you." Derek whispered back.
"No. Well, yes, but not really."
"Thanks for clearing that up." Derek smiled and Dawn shook her head, a tiny smile lifting the corners of her lips. "Can I kiss you again?"
"You're wrong for me." Dawn sighed. "You're rash and impetuous; you're probably going to get yourself killed; and you're too young."
"I'm twenty years old!" Derek challenged. "In this world, that's not very young at all."
"No, I guess it isn't." Dawn leaned against him again. "But I could like you. A lot. And I'm afraid that underneath the sweet guy you are here, you're just a suicidal idiot who tries to kill a Terminator by himself with a handgun."
"Dawn."
"Why did you do it?" Dawn demanded, twisting in his arms to look up at him. "Why, Derek?"
Derek sighed, his eyes closing. "I don't remember it, Dawn."
"What do you remember?"
Derek hesitated, opening his eyes, and reaching out to trace a finger along her jaw. "If you really want to know, let's go somewhere more private and I'll tell you."
Slowly, Dawn reached over and took his hand. "This way." She led him through a series of tunnels, until they were back in the isolation room where he'd first met her. It was empty.
"It's hard." Derek let her tug him down so that they were both sitting on the bed. "One minute I’m in the yard with my brother playing baseball, then next we look up and the sky’s on fire. Everything from that moment was about Kyle – keeping him alive. Keeping him safe." Derek bit his lip. "I was sixteen years old. Kyle was only nine. He was just a kid."
"So were you." Dawn's eyes were sad, but they didn't hold pity and Derek relaxed.
"Yeah, but like I said, kids grow up quick now, if they grow up at all." Sighing Derek continued. "I kept Kyle safe for four years and then… I couldn't keep him safe. The Machines took him." To his horror, Derek felt his eyes stinging with tears. "They just took him… and I don't know why. I don't know where. I left him for less than an hour. We were starving and I went to get food."
"Derek." Dawn held his hand tighter. "It wasn't your fault."
"Then whose fault was it? He's my little brother. He's only thirteen years old. He needed me and I let him down."
"How did you end up here?" Dawn asked softly, twining her fingers through his.
"The Triple 8 - I had been following it." Derek admitted. "I was looking for one of two things. The Resistance. Or the place where Kyle's being held. I know they have him. I know he's still alive."
The tears spilled over and Derek lifted his free hand to wipe his eyes. "He's alive. He's alive, because I can't stand to live in a world where he's dead."
"Derek." Dawn pulled his head to her shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "You were tracking the Terminator?"
"It spotted me." Derek admitted, the memory of it flooding his mind. "I followed it for two days, but it finally saw me and came after me. I had no where to run, so I shot at it."
"We heard the gunshots." Dawn whispered against his hair, rocking him slightly. "Buffy led a team out to see what the cause was. We're hidden here – the Machines haven't found us. If you hadn't shot at it, it would have walked right into the middle of us."
"Buffy saved me," Derek whispered. "I remember it now. The Terminator threw me down. It kicked me – that's how I was injured. And Buffy…" He sat up suddenly. "She pulled it off me with her bare hands."
"That's impossible." Dawn shook her head, but something about the way she spoke convinced Derek she was lying.
"No it's not. What's going on, Dawn? Buffy isn't… human."
"She is human." Dawn replied firmly. "More human than I am."
"I don't understand." Derek lifted a hand to run it through Dawn's hair. "You're very human."
"You're asking about a long story that won't change anything." Dawn caught his hand and pulled it against her chest. He could feel her heartbeat. "Trust me, please?"
"I do." Derek swallowed. "I do trust you." Then he kissed her. This time, Dawn kissed him back. The sensation made Derek's head swim. It had been so long since he'd kissed a woman and he'd never kissed one as beautiful as Dawn. She let go of his hands and ran her fingers over his chest. Groaning, he pressed against her, feeling her breasts against his chest and tangling one hand in her hair.
He tilted his head, but she was the one who deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth and moving to straddle his legs. He ran his free hand up her side, pausing at the swell of her breast and breaking the kiss.
"Dawn." His voice was ragged and she pressed a simple sweet kiss to his lips before leaning back far enough to tug her shirt over her head. His breath hitched and very slowly he leaned forward to press his face to her chest, just under her collar bone. She tangled her hands in his hair, urging him on.
"Derek, touch me."
"Dawn." He breathed her scent and whispered her name over her skin. "Dawn, Dawn." Then he obeyed, his hands moving around behind her, and running up until he felt her bra strap. Fumbling with it, he finally managed to unfasten it and remove the last barrier to her skin. Taking a second to lean back and strip out of his own shirt, he gasped when she traced the scar over his ribs and chest.
"Should we do this when the world is burning around us?" he whispered.
"Yes." She replied firmly, catching his hand and putting it boldly on her breast. He swallowed hard, mesmerized by the sight of her naked skin, rosy tips perking under this gaze and touch. "Yes, we should do this. I want to do this. I want you."
"Dawn," he whispered again, leaning forward to kiss the rosy tips of her breasts. "I think I love you."
She urged him on, coaxing him to be bolder and firmer as he touched her, explored her. She shed her clothes willingly, then helped him struggle out of his fatigue trousers, her hand skilled and tentative at the same time as she stroked him until he was choking on his own desire.
Dawn lay back on the cot, naked, and pulled him down on top of her. Reaching down, she helped guide him into her, crying out as he finally slid home. Derek's head swam as he froze, trying not to end it too soon. "Dawn. God, Dawn."
"It's okay, Derek." She urged him to move with her body, twisting under him. "It's okay." He matched her movements, thinking of anything other than her, trying to make it last, but he was helplessly caught up in the sensation of her around him, the smell of her hair, the feel of her lips as she kissed his neck, the sharp sensation of her fingernails on his back.
She was so tight, and so warm. Her hair was soft on his arms, her mouth hot under his. She made soft whimpering noises, finally crying out his name and he lost the battle to make it last longer. His orgasm wracked his whole body and spots swam in his vision as he buried his head against her neck.
When it finally ended, he slid out of her and to the side, pulling her to rest in his arms. "Thank you."
She kissed his nose. "It's been a long time."
"It was my first," Derek admitted. Dawn kissed him again, almost chastely.
"Thank you for picking me, then." She stretched, eyes closing. "I wish it was Before." The way she emphasized Before told Derek she meant before Judgment Day. "Only, I suppose you wouldn't have given me a second glance. You'd be out clubbing with some twenty year old."
"Then I'd be a fool." Derek murmured against her ear. She felt so comfortable against him.
"You're sweet, Derek."
"You sound surprised." Derek slid his hand over her naked hip, amused at the goose bumps that sprang up in the wake of his fingers.
"I am, a bit. I just expected you to be… harder."
Derek laughed. "If memory serves, I was harder just a few minutes ago."
Dawn twisted in his arms to look at him, laughing softly. She reached up to caress his face. "I'm glad you're sweet. It's nice."
"Was someone not sweet to you?" Derek felt a stirring of protective jealousy.
"It's not that. It was someone I knew Before." Dawn admitted, still touching his cheek gently. "You remind me of him a bit."
"But I'm sweeter?" Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her.
"Yes, you are. It makes me sad for him, because I think if things had been different, he'd have been sweeter, too."
"What happened to this guy?" Derek asked. "And should I be jealous of him?"
"He's dead." Dawn whispered. "Don't be jealous of him. Feel sorry for him. He went through a lot."
"We all have." Derek answered. Dawn studied his face for a moment before nodding and settling in against him.
"True. We all have."
*********************
"Derek, wake up." Dawn shook him roughly and Derek sat straight up. She threw his clothes at him and he caught them automatically. "Get dressed. Hurry. Terminators."
"What?" Derek was already yanking his clothes into place before she'd finished explaining. His heart thudded painfully against his chest, an almost crippling fear tearing at his stomach.
"That's what the sirens mean." Dawn spoke softly, pulling her own clothes into place and hurrying to the desk. "And I can hear the dogs."
Cramming his feet into his boots, he grabbed his firearm. "I need ammo."
Dawn was rummaging in the desk drawer where she'd hidden his gun in the beginning. Nodding, she tossed him a magazine, before pulling out a second gun. They both loaded in silence and then Derek crossed to the door.
He could hear the warning sirens faintly. "How'd they find us?"
"Doesn't matter." Dawn answered grimly. "They did. Now move, soldier, and remember the evacuation drill."
"Yes, ma'am." Derek's training took over and he felt the first wash of fear and panic fade into the background of his mind. "We're together on this one."
"Yes. The nearest evacuation point is three quarters of a mile. It's a tunnel that leads up to an old carnival."
"I know the one." Derek nodded. Buffy had drilled all of them on exits and defensive strategy until he could have done this in his sleep. "I'll take point."
"I outrank you."
"Yeah, but if I get shot, you can fix me." Derek pointed out, grabbing her and kissing her one last time before he pushed the door open and went into the hallway. The sirens were louder now and punctuated with the rat a tat of gunfire and the even more faint screams of his comrades fighting for their lives. Looking back, he nodded the all clear at Dawn and she came into the hallway. Her gun arm was steady and Derek realized that he'd never seen her hold a weapon before with the intent to use it. She poked her head out and glanced around before jerking back behind the cover of the wall.
"Clear."
Derek didn't wait for anything else. He jumped out and began running. He could hear Dawn behind him, keeping pace easily. Part of his mind wondered when she had time to work out, but most of his thoughts were fixated on any potential pitfalls between them and their escape.
Working together, they made their way past the medical bay, which was empty. Dawn insisted on stopping long enough to grab several portable first aid kits and Derek kept watch, his feet itching to be running again.
"Go." Dawn finally gave the order to continue their evacuation and Derek shouldered one of the bags she'd filled before going back into the hallway. A burst of gunfire deafened him momentarily, and he glanced back over his shoulder in time to see a T-1000 being gunned down by two of Buffy's newly minted trainees. They worked silently and efficiently and Derek felt a savage swelling of pride.
This was what he had trained for. This was what he was good at now. Determined, he ran faster, slowing only to allow Dawn to keep up with him. They reached the escape hatch unmolested and he took the bag off her shoulder. "Go."
"You first."
"I can carry more weight than you can and climb faster. Get the hatch open and I'll be right behind you."
Dawn hesitated, worry clear in her eyes, but she finally nodded. "Fine." She climbed up the ladder easily, reaching the top and unlocking it before slowly putting her head through. "Clear," she whispered.
Derek started up the ladder after her, falling back when a bright spark exploded in front of his eyes with an accompanying roar. Falling to the ground, he had his gun aimed before he hit the floor. A Terminator was bearing down on him and he felt his heart stop for a second before its head exploded off its body.
It crumpled in a metal heap, revealing Buffy standing behind it and holding a shot gun. "Have you seen Dawn?" The Lieutenant's voice was muffled behind the ringing in Derek's ears, but he nodded.
"She's there." Derek pointed up the ladder and Dawn's voice floated back down.
"Are you hurt?"
"No."
"Then quit lying around and get your ass up there, soldier." Buffy grabbed him and yanked him to his feet hard enough that his shoes didn't touch the concrete for a moment. He didn't bother wasting more time wondering how she was so strong, instead applying all of his energy to climbing up the ladder. He was almost at the top when he heard Dawn scream and the lid banged shut.
"Dawn!" He shouted, pushing at the lid to no avail. "Dawn!"
"Derek! Help me!" Dawn's scream was closely punctuated by the sound of her firearm. Four shots and then silence.
"Dawn!"
"Move, Derek!" Buffy jerked at his foot and Derek let go, falling back to the ground to let the tiny blond pass him on the ladder. She reached the top and grabbed the handle of the lid, twisting it hard enough that the metal bent. Slowly, the lid budged and Buffy stepped up one more rung of the ladder to really throw her weight into her effort to open it. "I'm coming, Dawnie!"
Derek was halfway back up the ladder when Buffy finally got it open. She vanished from sight and he raced up the last ten feet of ladder. Smoke. Everything was smoking and Derek squinted to try and make out anything through the haze.
A giant Ferris wheel lay on its side to the left. It was covered over by shrubs and brush that survived the war. The ground was a mixture of gravel and grass, the rocks digging into his hands and knees until he stood up. An old tilt-a-whirl, so rusted that the paint job was indiscernible, lay in front of him and he instinctively ran that way. He kept quiet and stayed in a semi crouch, to make himself as small a target as possible. When he rounded the corner, his heart stopped.
It was a transport – the same as the one Kyle had been loaded into. He could see a Terminator, model unknown, dragging Dawn towards it. A shout to his right made him dive to the ground and spin. He could see Buffy fighting off to the side. She was locked in a fierce battle with what looked like a brunette girl, but the brunette ripped off a metal bar from an old concession stand with enough ease that Derek knew she had to be a skin job.
Ignoring them, Derek chased after Dawn, praying that she wasn't dead and desperate to reach her before the Machine loaded her onto the transport. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to get to her in time, he stopped and took aim. There was no way he could hit the thing's brain from this far, but he could hit it in the back.
Squeezing gently, he fired three shots. All three connected and the Terminator stumbled before turning. It spotted him immediately and dropped Dawn in an unceremonious heap to advance on him. It held up an arm, already firing its weapon at him, and Derek dove behind a booth that claimed to offer "The Ride of a Lifetime."
Heart pounding in his throat, Derek ducked as the top of the booth exploded in a shower of bullets. Then he climbed to his feet and threw himself out from behind the makeshift barrier. He fired two random shots as he ducked behind what had once been a stand for one of the rides. It was tall enough that he could stand upright and he risked a glance at Dawn. She hadn't moved.
Buffy was still fighting, although from where Derek stood it looked like she was slowly losing ground. The Terminator shot at him again, and he cursed as he yanked his head back. He'd fired five shots. That left him nine bullets.
Time. He needed more time. The Terminator was running towards him now; he could hear its metallic footfalls speeding up and getting closer. You have to take out the brain! Buffy's voice played in his brain over and over again.
When he knew that the machine was close, Derek took a breath and jumped out in front of it. A bullet whizzed by his head close enough that he could feel heat. He didn't move as the thing closed the distance between them. Carefully, he lifted his gun and took aim.
Once, twice, three times he shot it in the head. He wasn't even aware that he was screaming until his shoulder hit the dirt and the thing crashed down on top of him. It crushed the wind out of him and Derek went silent, gazing at it in horror as the red of its eye bore into him, until finally it faded.
Shoving it frantically away, Derek scrambled to his hands and knees before grabbing his firearm again and crawling towards Dawn. His left arm wouldn't hold any weight and pain shout through his shoulder, but he didn't slow down. Around him, other Terminators and soldiers were engaged in battles of their own. Explosions shook the ground and debris rained down around them all.
"Dawn, Dawn, Dawn." He chanted her name like a prayer, dragging himself over rocks and debris, until he reached her. She was bleeding from a vicious gash on the side of her head. Behind him, the transport seemed to be gearing up to leave and he looked at it desperately.
Kyle. If he followed it, he might find Kyle.
Then he looked back at Dawn and very gently moved to cover as much of her body as he could with his own. There were black spots dancing in his vision and he was having a hard time breathing. He touched her face and her head lolled lifelessly to the side. Fear, desperation and adrenaline mixed in his gut until finally he could only keen out a single, "No."
Desperately, he dropped his gun and began CPR, compressing her chest and breathing into her mouth. "Dawn, no. No, Dawnie. Come on. Come on!"
The transport began to rumble away, turning to fire a large gun into the battle. The ground rumbled and Derek threw himself over Dawn's head, trying to protect her from the debris that rained down on them both.
There were more gunshots now. It sounded like the rest of his unit had arrived, but Derek didn't move. Behind him, his chance to find Kyle was vanishing as the transport began to move away. Beneath him, Dawn coughed.
Derek's heart stopped, and he reached over to cup her chin with his hand. Dawn's breath fluttered and she opened her eyes.
"Derek?"
"I think I love you, Dawn." Derek whispered before darkness crashed around him and he knew no more.
*********************
"Reese. Derek." Buffy woke him from a nap and he sat up with a start. He'd been in medical for a week. His left arm had been dislocated, the cuts on his hands had gotten infected, and he'd sprained his right knee so badly he'd not been able to put any weight on it.
"Lieutenant."
"No, not right now." Buffy came to sit beside him. "Right now, I'm just Buffy, Dawn's older sister."
Derek managed a weak smile. "That's even scarier."
"Good." She studied him with battle weary eyes, looking far older than she was. "You saved her life."
"I tried."
"You did." Buffy reached out and gently took his hand. Her own hands were blemish free, even though Derek knew that they'd been bruised and battered only days before. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Derek shifted uncomfortably. "But I didn't do it for you."
"I know. You did it for her." Buffy sighed.
"I love her." Derek replied softly.
"Do you?" Buffy asked. "Don't you still want to go after your brother? It'll break her heart if you leave."
Derek looked down to where Buffy still held his hand. "Two months ago, I'd have killed to save Kyle. I'd have died to save him." He looked up, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I still want to see my brother again, Lieutenant, and if there is anything I can do that will free him, I'll do it. But… I still have to live in this world. And I don't want to live in a world without Dawn either."
Buffy's face softened. "It's not like it was in the movies, is it? Love isn't fireworks and flowers."
Derek shook his head. "It's nothing like the movies. It's terror and fear, firebombs and rust. But," he looked up and met her eyes steadily, "it's everything that matters."
"Dawn said you'd say that," Buffy shook her head. "Firebombs and rust, those exact words. She said you told her that once and she didn't understand what you meant."
"I've never told her that before," Derek frowned. "I've never even thought it before."
"Maybe it was in a dream, then." Buffy sighed. "But whatever it is, I wouldn't keep you apart. You're meant to be together." She stood up. "I hope you're happy, as happy as any of us can be. You deserve that much."
"Lieutenant," Derek stopped her before she left. "Was Dawn in love with someone Before? She mentioned a man that she once knew. She sounded like she was in love with him."
Buffy turned to study him quizzically. Then she smiled. "I think she's always been in love with you, Derek. She was just waiting for you to get here. I'll send her in. Her shift is over."
"Thanks." Derek lay back against the bed. "I'll see you at graduation."
"Like I'm going to let you graduate." Buffy snorted. "Don't think I didn't see you shoot that tin can in the chest first."
"I had to."
Buffy stilled. "I know. Thank you. You risked your life to save Dawn."
"It was worth it." Derek smiled at Buffy's back as she closed the door behind her. A few minutes later, Dawn came inside. Smiling at him, she crossed to the bed and kissed him. Nudging his hip with her knee, she waited until he slid over so she could lie down next to him.
"What did you and Buffy talk about?"
"Firebombs and rust." Derek answered, curiously.
Dawn smiled at him. "I love you, too." When she kissed him again, Derek decided that he really didn't care how she knew what he would say. It was miracle enough that he was able to say it at all.
Fandom: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Rating: Teen
Summary:
Disclaimer: I own neither fandom and make no money doing this.
A/N: This is dedicated to
musesinspire, who did me a lot of favors when I needed them. She asked for some Derek/Dawn and suggested Carnivals of Rust by Poets of the Fall as a prompt.Many thanks to
strangevisitor7 for the beta. It's much better because of you!As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
*************
Timeline Notes: Dawn Summers was supposedly born in 1986. Derek Reese was born in 1995. Judgment Day, for the purposes of this story, occurred on April 21, 2011. Kyle Reese was taken prisoner and held in the Century Prison Camp from 2015-2021. This story takes place at some point in 2016.
Everything being a constant carnival, there is no carnival left. ~ Victor Hugo
Blue eyes. That was the first thing Derek noticed when he woke up. He blinked and the face containing the blue eyes swam into focus, delicate features peering at him curiously. The woman, for it was a woman, stared at him wordlessly and a jolt of adrenaline made Derek sit up straight. He threw his feet over the side of the bed and reached automatically for his sidearm.
"Commandeered." The woman's voice was surprisingly steady. "There are soldiers who need it."
"I need it." Derek croaked, his throat raw. His vision swam and for a terrifying second, Derek thought he was going to pass out.
"You can't even stand up." The comment was wry, as if she were observing the weather. "You don't need it. Right now, you couldn't even use it."
"You stole it."
"Consider it payment for saving your life." Derek focused on her face again when he felt her hand press against his chest. He hadn't even noticed that she'd come closer to him. "Lie down before you pass out. You're suffering from shock and blood loss." The woman pressed against him firmly.
"What happened?" Derek tried to resist her, but she was a lot stronger than she looked.
"None of that matters right now." The woman shook her head. "Ask me in the morning."
"Is it night?" Derek looked around the room for the first time. He was clearly in an underground tunnel and that made him relax a little more. Humans lived underground. Metal owned above ground. "Where am I?"
"Ask those questions in the morning, too." Derek felt a fleeting pain in his arm and looked down to see her jab a hypodermic needle into his skin and depress the plunger. "I'm pretty sure that you'll survive that long now." He wanted to ask more questions, but the drug she'd given him was already making his vision blurry.
"Who are you?" He managed to whisper one last question before his eyes shut and he felt his conscious mind being dragged deeper and deeper into oblivion.
"Dawn." He wasn't sure if she answered him or he imagined it, but either way, it was a fitting name. He tried to whisper her name back, but it was too late. He was asleep.
The second time he woke up, Derek looked for Dawn before he was even fully coherent. She was sitting at a makeshift desk against the concrete wall, reading something in the meager lamplight afforded her by a small lantern. "Dawn." It came out as barely a whisper and he licked his lips painfully.
She turned immediately at the sound of his voice. "How are you feeling?"
"Water?" He watched as she obliged, moving towards a pitcher and a cup on a table near the door. She poured a small amount of the liquid into the cup before coming over to press it into his shaking hand. When he slopped some of it over his hand, she took his hand and guided it to his mouth.
"Drink slowly. You don't want to make yourself sick."
"Are you a nurse?" Derek glanced up at her, taking in her appearance for the first time. Her long brown hair was bound up at her neck, but some strands had escaped, falling across her face and down over her shoulders. She was older than he was, he guessed, probably in her late twenties, but she didn't have that beaten and scared look that most of the women – hell, most of the people – wore. She seemed confident and assured. Derek relaxed slightly at her poise.
"No. I've just done a lot of field training." She pulled the cup away from his unresisting fingers.
"What happened?" Derek asked again, laying back against the pillow and cursing the fact that he felt so weak.
"You took on a Triple 8." Dawn eyed him critically. "That better not have been some pathetic attempt at suicide. I could have given those antibiotics to two dozen other people."
Derek blinked, trying to remember. "I don't remember anything."
"What do you remember?" Dawn asked, taking his pulse.
Derek frowned. "I was looking for the Resistance."
"Why?" Dawn demanded, dropping his wrist and looking up at him sharply.
"To join." Derek shook his head, still grasping at a memory that lay just beyond his reach. "To fight."
"Why?" Dawn asked more softly. She reached over to brush away a few strands of hair that lay matted on his forehead and he looked at her in surprise.
"You're beautiful." The compliment was unthinking and Dawn blushed slightly. Derek, flushed as well, moved his head slightly so that she wasn't touching him anymore. "My brother. The Machines have my brother. I want him back."
Pity. That was the emotion that flooded her beautiful blue eyes and Derek slapped at her hand when she tried to touch him again. "Don't you dare look at me like that. Kyle is alive. I know he's alive."
"Well then." Dawn stood up and went to the desk she'd been sitting at earlier. Digging into a drawer, she pulled out the handgun that Derek had stolen two weeks after Judgment Day. She checked to make sure it was loaded, snapping the magazine back into place. "You'll need this back, soldier. You've found the Resistance."
"I did?" Derek took the gun, automatically checking to see if it was loaded. He looked up to see Dawn watching him approvingly.
"Yeah." She smiled at him, the first real smile he'd seen in ages. "What's your name?"
"Reese. Derek Reese."
"Welcome to the Resistance, Derek Reese." Dawn held out her hand solemnly and Derek gave her the gun back. "Get some sleep. You're already scheduled to be moved out of isolation before the end of the day. Once you're healed, you'll report to Lieutenant Summers. You'll need your rest."
"I will?"
"Yeah." Dawn's smile turned mischievous. "That's my older sister and she's just aching to tear you a new one for going up against a Triple 8 with a handgun." Dawn leaned down and whispered conspiratorially. "Although I think she mostly wants to hear how you managed to survive it."
"Easy." Derek mumbled, feeling sleepy again. He reached up and caught Dawn's hand and pressed it lightly to the bandage covering his chest. "You saved me."
"I did." Dawn gently freed her hand. "Don't make me regret it."
Three weeks later, Derek discovered that Dawn had been right about her sister. Lt. Buffy Summers was a certifiable bitch. It had taken two weeks before Derek was released from observation. The third week was spent learning his way around and regaining as much strength as possible. As soon as Derek was cleared by medical, he reported for duty, falling into line with other new soldiers.
"What do we have here?" The derision packed into that sentence should have come from a six and a half foot man weighing 280 pounds, not the petite and tiny blond whisp of a woman standing in front of Derek.
"Derek Reese, ma'am."
"Did I ask you your name, soldier?" Buffy grabbed the front of his shirt and rucked it up, showing off the pink scars that crossed his chest. "I asked you what you were, not who you are. And the answer is clearly a complete lunatic!"
"No, ma'am." Derek was proud of the fact that his voice was steady. It took a genuine effort not to move away from the Lieutenant.
"No?" Buffy dropped his shirt and stepped back, hands falling behind her back in a mockery of the parade rest posture. "No? Would you prefer a lucky fool? A dumb ass who thinks he can get by on happenstance? Tell me what you are, then."
"A good fighter." Derek knew he shouldn't do it, but he couldn't keep the smug tone out of his voice as he provoked her. Around him, he heard a few of the other soldiers snicker, but he didn't have time to think about them before Buffy laughed in his face.
"You really think so?" She shrugged off her jacket and threw it at one of the soldiers next to Derek. "Then prove it."
"I'm… what?" Derek really looked at her for the first time, completely confused. "You want to fight me? Now?"
"Yes, now. I don't have time to waste while you grow up, little boy." Buffy sneered. "You think you're a good fighter, prove it. You've got about sixty pounds on me and a good foot of height. But I'll go easy on you, seeing as how you were cracked open like a ripe melon a few weeks ago. I'll only use one hand."
Derek stared at the tiny Lieutenant like she'd grown a second head until she snapped at him. "Move your ass, soldier, or so help me, I'll dump you back out for machine fodder. I don't have time to baby your ego."
Stung, Derek stepped forward into the fight, throwing a punch and putting his weight behind it. A second later, he was airborne. Landing heavily, he felt he air whoosh out of him and heard a burst of laughter from his so called companions. Struggling to breath, he lay there until Buffy bent over to stare down at him derisively. "I did that with one hand. But maybe it was just luck. Get up. We're going again."
Body protesting, Derek rolled to his hands and knees. Then he lunged at her from that position, not bothering to stand and hoping that a lower center of gravity would keep him on the ground. Which is exactly where he found himself a second later, pinned down by a tiny knee that ground into his kidney, and one hand on the back of his neck, shoving his face into the dirt.
"You're pathetic, Reese." Buffy leaned down and spoke quietly enough that no one could hear her but him. "You take on an enemy you can't beat, and you don't even have the balls to admit that you won because of luck. Grow up, boy, or you'll end up dead and I don't have time to train soldiers to be corpses."
She let him go and he got to his feet. Meeting her eyes, he nodded. "Ma'am."
"Fall in line." Buffy ordered, but there was no heat in it. She only sounded tired. "And check in with medical after the day is over. I want to make sure I didn't do anything to your ribs."
The rest of the day was agony. Derek kept up with the physical activities to the best of his ability and would have pushed himself harder, but Buffy rode herd on him and ordered him to stop anytime the strain got to be too much.
"I don't have time to wait for you to heal, you asshole!" He heard that comment so many times that he knew it'd haunt his sleep, but he was grateful. It was better than hearing Kyle's scream echoing through his dreams.
By the time it was over, Derek wanted to fall into his cot and sleep for a week, but Buffy's voice cracked at him like a whip. "Medical. Now."
Derek was too tired to argue, not that he thought it would do much good, so he obeyed, going back to the room with the long row of beds where he'd spent two weeks slowly healing. To his dismay, and although he looked, he hadn't seen Dawn again since he'd been released from isolation.
Knocking perfunctorily on the door, he opened it and went inside. "I've been ordered to have my ribs checked." He told the three people standing at the entrance. A voice to his left made him turn.
"I doubt that Buffy broke you in one day." Dawn smirked at him. "But I'd better check to be sure." She gestured for him to go and sit on a gurney. "Take your shirt off."
Derek obeyed, noticing for the first time how badly he smelled and how much worse he probably looked. "I didn't clean up first."
"No worries. Compared to blood and guts, sweat is easy to deal with." Dawn snapped on gloves and began pulling his bandages off. He watched her work, appreciating that she was clean and smelled nice and resisting the urge to touch her.
"It's nice to see you again." Derek blurted. "I was wondering what happened to you."
Dawn's face clouded. "There was a raid that went badly. I went to try and tend to our soldiers on the field as much as I could. We set up a makeshift hospital and just got back a few days ago."
"Where? Was it a murder squad or were they taking prisoners?" Derek tensed, reaching for his shirt.
"Hey." Dawn caught his face with one of her hands. "That's not your problem right now."
"If they were taking prisoners, I might be able to find Kyle."
"Derek, be realistic."
"You don't know what it's like!" Derek snapped, loudly enough that several others looked over at him. "Your sister is here! You get to see her every damn day! Don't tell me to be realistic."
Dawn glared at him angrily and then reached over and punched him in the ribs where he was injured. Sickening pain swept through Derek and he gasped, leaning forward to fight off the urge to either groan or throw up.
"Don't you dare presume to tell me how badly I don't have it." Dawn hissed in his ear. "I've lost people in this war – women who were like sisters to me, like my own flesh and blood. Family, even if they weren't related to me."
Clutching his ribs, Derek looked up at her in amazement. Her eyes were practically shooting out death lasers at him and he shrank back in embarrassment. "And you need a serious reality check. So what if you find Kyle? In the shape you're in right now, you couldn't help him. And how do you think he'd feel if he finds out that you killed yourself because you're a giant…" She stumbled to a stop, looking for a word.
"Asshole?" Derek suggested and she frowned at him.
"Yes. Asshole. You're a giant asshole."
"I'm sorry." Derek looked down at his hands. "You're right. I am an asshole. I didn't mean to imply that you haven't lost people. I just… I miss him. So much I can't breathe sometimes."
They stood in silence for a moment before Dawn sighed. "I know." She pressed against his side again, gently this time. "But I'm trying to help you save him. And so is Buffy, despite what you might think right now."
Derek studied Dawn, a smile quirking his lips. "I didn't see the family resemblance at first."
"And now?"
"When you get angry, you look just like her." Derek admitted, grinning more widely. "And I'd rather be anywhere but on the receiving end of that glare."
Dawn stopped what she was doing and matched his grin with one of her own. "Don't you forget it either." She stepped back. "You're fine, probably sore as hell, but fine."
"Good." Derek reached for his shirt, but Dawn pulled it away from him playfully. "Do I get pain pills now?"
"Nope." Dawn took a few steps backward, beckoning for him to follow her. "Now, I’m going to show you what the best part of being part of the Resistance is."
"Oh yeah? What? Because I have to tell you, the food really sucks."
Dawn laughed and threw his shirt at his face. "Follow me, tough guy. Don't bother putting your shirt back on yet."
More curious than he would let on, Derek followed Dawn through the door and down a long corridor. They had gone about a city block when Derek first heard water. "What is that?"
"I'll show you." Dawn finally reached the end of the hallway and shoved the door open. She stood back and waved her arm at the scene. "What do you think?"
"Showers." Derek stared at the shower room in amazement. Thus far, the best he'd managed was a sponge bath with a bowl of cold water. Here, he could see a dozen shower heads spraying various men and women with water as they bathed off the sweat and grime of a long day. "Dawn, I think I love you." He turned and leaned forward impetuously and pressed a kiss to her lips, catching her off guard.
Dawn froze and Derek stilled, realizing what he'd just done. Then he kissed her again, letting his lips linger on hers. "And that was for saving my life."
She sidestepped him before he could do anything else. "There's soap and towels in there. Don't take more than you need. It's a luxury and we all want to be able to stay relatively clean. When you're done, go and have one of the techs give you any pain pills you need."
"What about you?" Derek called after her retreating back.
"Me?" Dawn turned and smiled at him. "I'm going to go and yell at Buffy for abusing you too much when you're barely healed. She'll be expecting me."
Derek watched her run back down the hallway smiling slightly. "I sure wasn't expecting you," he admitted to no one before going and enjoying the first shower he'd had in months.
"You have to take out the brain," Buffy screamed in Derek's face, practically standing on her tiptoes to do so. "Not shoot the body! Do you listen to me?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Derek intoned, knowing it wouldn't do any good. "But I couldn't get a shot at the brain."
"Then you don't take a shot!" Buffy stepped away in disgust. "You save your ammunition and your firearms until it will do you some good! You've been here a month, soldier! This is stuff we covered on the first day."
"With all due respect, ma'am," Derek ground out between clenched teeth, "if I'd waited to shoot, it might have killed me."
"Give me your gun." Buffy held out her hand and he obeyed. Turning, she fired four shots at the moving target that was rigged to charge at the soldiers as they practiced. All four shots went into the body of the dummy. "Now I've wasted half my ammunition, it's still not dead, and when it finally gets close enough…" She turned and fired the gun again, the echoing click of an empty chamber making her point. "I'm dead."
She slammed the side gun into Derek's chest hard enough that he knew it'd bruise. Sometimes, he was more than a little convinced that Buffy was metal. She certainly was inhumanly strong for such a tiny woman. "You're dead."
"But…"
"Shut up." She snapped. "You're dead. I can't hear a single thing you've got to say. Get off my practice field."
"Lieutenant - " Buffy stepped towards him angrily.
"If you're not off this field by the time I count to three, I'll throw you off it." She'd do it, too. Abandoning his irritation and his pride, Derek turned and ran for cover. At the edge of the field, he slowed and heard her addressing the rest of his unit.
"So your commanding officer turned out to be an asshole and got himself killed. Now what?"
Slamming the door that led back to the barracks open, Derrick cursed, His daily ammunition allotment was expired. Until he was active, he got 30 rounds a day to train and he'd used most of them shooting at a metal heart that would never stop beating and never die. Damn it, Buffy was right. He did know better.
"Rough day?" Dawn's voice made him turn and he smiled sheepishly as he spotted the medic in the hallway.
"I know she's your sister, but Lt. Summers can be a real bitch."
"Tell me about it." Dawn grinned at him. "I haven't seen you around much."
"I've managed to stop hurting myself." Derek shrugged. "And I've been so tired at the end of the day, that falling asleep is work."
"Yeah, I know. Buffy's a hard task master, but she has her reasons. She can't stand to loose people. Every time a soldier she trains gets hurt… or worse… she blames herself." Dawn's smile faded.
Derek sobered. "It's a hard thing."
"What is?" Dawn asked, confused.
"Living in this world." Derek shrugged again, intending to say more, but Dawn's face drained of color. Derek grabbed her arm to keep her upright. "Dawn! What's wrong?"
"Noth… nothing." Dawn cleared her throat, but her smile was shaky and not reassuring. "You're right. I think it's the hardest thing, living in this world."
"I'm sorry." Derek's other hand moved to her back where he rubbed lightly. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't." Dawn shook her head and tried again to smile at him. "You just reminded me of someone for a moment."
"Who?"
"Buffy, actually. She told me that once." Dawn's eyes filled with tears and an unexpected desire to protect her made Derek put his arms around her and pull her in for a hug.
"Why the tears?"
"Because I'm afraid," Dawn admitted. "I'm afraid of loosing more people that I love."
There was nothing Derek could say to that, so he just held her, his fingers tracing her back lightly until she pulled away from him slightly. Derek noticed that she fit almost perfectly under his arm, her head tucked under his chin. "It's why I've been avoiding you." Dawn admitted slowly.
"I figured it was because I kissed you." Derek whispered back.
"No. Well, yes, but not really."
"Thanks for clearing that up." Derek smiled and Dawn shook her head, a tiny smile lifting the corners of her lips. "Can I kiss you again?"
"You're wrong for me." Dawn sighed. "You're rash and impetuous; you're probably going to get yourself killed; and you're too young."
"I'm twenty years old!" Derek challenged. "In this world, that's not very young at all."
"No, I guess it isn't." Dawn leaned against him again. "But I could like you. A lot. And I'm afraid that underneath the sweet guy you are here, you're just a suicidal idiot who tries to kill a Terminator by himself with a handgun."
"Dawn."
"Why did you do it?" Dawn demanded, twisting in his arms to look up at him. "Why, Derek?"
Derek sighed, his eyes closing. "I don't remember it, Dawn."
"What do you remember?"
Derek hesitated, opening his eyes, and reaching out to trace a finger along her jaw. "If you really want to know, let's go somewhere more private and I'll tell you."
Slowly, Dawn reached over and took his hand. "This way." She led him through a series of tunnels, until they were back in the isolation room where he'd first met her. It was empty.
"It's hard." Derek let her tug him down so that they were both sitting on the bed. "One minute I’m in the yard with my brother playing baseball, then next we look up and the sky’s on fire. Everything from that moment was about Kyle – keeping him alive. Keeping him safe." Derek bit his lip. "I was sixteen years old. Kyle was only nine. He was just a kid."
"So were you." Dawn's eyes were sad, but they didn't hold pity and Derek relaxed.
"Yeah, but like I said, kids grow up quick now, if they grow up at all." Sighing Derek continued. "I kept Kyle safe for four years and then… I couldn't keep him safe. The Machines took him." To his horror, Derek felt his eyes stinging with tears. "They just took him… and I don't know why. I don't know where. I left him for less than an hour. We were starving and I went to get food."
"Derek." Dawn held his hand tighter. "It wasn't your fault."
"Then whose fault was it? He's my little brother. He's only thirteen years old. He needed me and I let him down."
"How did you end up here?" Dawn asked softly, twining her fingers through his.
"The Triple 8 - I had been following it." Derek admitted. "I was looking for one of two things. The Resistance. Or the place where Kyle's being held. I know they have him. I know he's still alive."
The tears spilled over and Derek lifted his free hand to wipe his eyes. "He's alive. He's alive, because I can't stand to live in a world where he's dead."
"Derek." Dawn pulled his head to her shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "You were tracking the Terminator?"
"It spotted me." Derek admitted, the memory of it flooding his mind. "I followed it for two days, but it finally saw me and came after me. I had no where to run, so I shot at it."
"We heard the gunshots." Dawn whispered against his hair, rocking him slightly. "Buffy led a team out to see what the cause was. We're hidden here – the Machines haven't found us. If you hadn't shot at it, it would have walked right into the middle of us."
"Buffy saved me," Derek whispered. "I remember it now. The Terminator threw me down. It kicked me – that's how I was injured. And Buffy…" He sat up suddenly. "She pulled it off me with her bare hands."
"That's impossible." Dawn shook her head, but something about the way she spoke convinced Derek she was lying.
"No it's not. What's going on, Dawn? Buffy isn't… human."
"She is human." Dawn replied firmly. "More human than I am."
"I don't understand." Derek lifted a hand to run it through Dawn's hair. "You're very human."
"You're asking about a long story that won't change anything." Dawn caught his hand and pulled it against her chest. He could feel her heartbeat. "Trust me, please?"
"I do." Derek swallowed. "I do trust you." Then he kissed her. This time, Dawn kissed him back. The sensation made Derek's head swim. It had been so long since he'd kissed a woman and he'd never kissed one as beautiful as Dawn. She let go of his hands and ran her fingers over his chest. Groaning, he pressed against her, feeling her breasts against his chest and tangling one hand in her hair.
He tilted his head, but she was the one who deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth and moving to straddle his legs. He ran his free hand up her side, pausing at the swell of her breast and breaking the kiss.
"Dawn." His voice was ragged and she pressed a simple sweet kiss to his lips before leaning back far enough to tug her shirt over her head. His breath hitched and very slowly he leaned forward to press his face to her chest, just under her collar bone. She tangled her hands in his hair, urging him on.
"Derek, touch me."
"Dawn." He breathed her scent and whispered her name over her skin. "Dawn, Dawn." Then he obeyed, his hands moving around behind her, and running up until he felt her bra strap. Fumbling with it, he finally managed to unfasten it and remove the last barrier to her skin. Taking a second to lean back and strip out of his own shirt, he gasped when she traced the scar over his ribs and chest.
"Should we do this when the world is burning around us?" he whispered.
"Yes." She replied firmly, catching his hand and putting it boldly on her breast. He swallowed hard, mesmerized by the sight of her naked skin, rosy tips perking under this gaze and touch. "Yes, we should do this. I want to do this. I want you."
"Dawn," he whispered again, leaning forward to kiss the rosy tips of her breasts. "I think I love you."
She urged him on, coaxing him to be bolder and firmer as he touched her, explored her. She shed her clothes willingly, then helped him struggle out of his fatigue trousers, her hand skilled and tentative at the same time as she stroked him until he was choking on his own desire.
Dawn lay back on the cot, naked, and pulled him down on top of her. Reaching down, she helped guide him into her, crying out as he finally slid home. Derek's head swam as he froze, trying not to end it too soon. "Dawn. God, Dawn."
"It's okay, Derek." She urged him to move with her body, twisting under him. "It's okay." He matched her movements, thinking of anything other than her, trying to make it last, but he was helplessly caught up in the sensation of her around him, the smell of her hair, the feel of her lips as she kissed his neck, the sharp sensation of her fingernails on his back.
She was so tight, and so warm. Her hair was soft on his arms, her mouth hot under his. She made soft whimpering noises, finally crying out his name and he lost the battle to make it last longer. His orgasm wracked his whole body and spots swam in his vision as he buried his head against her neck.
When it finally ended, he slid out of her and to the side, pulling her to rest in his arms. "Thank you."
She kissed his nose. "It's been a long time."
"It was my first," Derek admitted. Dawn kissed him again, almost chastely.
"Thank you for picking me, then." She stretched, eyes closing. "I wish it was Before." The way she emphasized Before told Derek she meant before Judgment Day. "Only, I suppose you wouldn't have given me a second glance. You'd be out clubbing with some twenty year old."
"Then I'd be a fool." Derek murmured against her ear. She felt so comfortable against him.
"You're sweet, Derek."
"You sound surprised." Derek slid his hand over her naked hip, amused at the goose bumps that sprang up in the wake of his fingers.
"I am, a bit. I just expected you to be… harder."
Derek laughed. "If memory serves, I was harder just a few minutes ago."
Dawn twisted in his arms to look at him, laughing softly. She reached up to caress his face. "I'm glad you're sweet. It's nice."
"Was someone not sweet to you?" Derek felt a stirring of protective jealousy.
"It's not that. It was someone I knew Before." Dawn admitted, still touching his cheek gently. "You remind me of him a bit."
"But I'm sweeter?" Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her.
"Yes, you are. It makes me sad for him, because I think if things had been different, he'd have been sweeter, too."
"What happened to this guy?" Derek asked. "And should I be jealous of him?"
"He's dead." Dawn whispered. "Don't be jealous of him. Feel sorry for him. He went through a lot."
"We all have." Derek answered. Dawn studied his face for a moment before nodding and settling in against him.
"True. We all have."
"Derek, wake up." Dawn shook him roughly and Derek sat straight up. She threw his clothes at him and he caught them automatically. "Get dressed. Hurry. Terminators."
"What?" Derek was already yanking his clothes into place before she'd finished explaining. His heart thudded painfully against his chest, an almost crippling fear tearing at his stomach.
"That's what the sirens mean." Dawn spoke softly, pulling her own clothes into place and hurrying to the desk. "And I can hear the dogs."
Cramming his feet into his boots, he grabbed his firearm. "I need ammo."
Dawn was rummaging in the desk drawer where she'd hidden his gun in the beginning. Nodding, she tossed him a magazine, before pulling out a second gun. They both loaded in silence and then Derek crossed to the door.
He could hear the warning sirens faintly. "How'd they find us?"
"Doesn't matter." Dawn answered grimly. "They did. Now move, soldier, and remember the evacuation drill."
"Yes, ma'am." Derek's training took over and he felt the first wash of fear and panic fade into the background of his mind. "We're together on this one."
"Yes. The nearest evacuation point is three quarters of a mile. It's a tunnel that leads up to an old carnival."
"I know the one." Derek nodded. Buffy had drilled all of them on exits and defensive strategy until he could have done this in his sleep. "I'll take point."
"I outrank you."
"Yeah, but if I get shot, you can fix me." Derek pointed out, grabbing her and kissing her one last time before he pushed the door open and went into the hallway. The sirens were louder now and punctuated with the rat a tat of gunfire and the even more faint screams of his comrades fighting for their lives. Looking back, he nodded the all clear at Dawn and she came into the hallway. Her gun arm was steady and Derek realized that he'd never seen her hold a weapon before with the intent to use it. She poked her head out and glanced around before jerking back behind the cover of the wall.
"Clear."
Derek didn't wait for anything else. He jumped out and began running. He could hear Dawn behind him, keeping pace easily. Part of his mind wondered when she had time to work out, but most of his thoughts were fixated on any potential pitfalls between them and their escape.
Working together, they made their way past the medical bay, which was empty. Dawn insisted on stopping long enough to grab several portable first aid kits and Derek kept watch, his feet itching to be running again.
"Go." Dawn finally gave the order to continue their evacuation and Derek shouldered one of the bags she'd filled before going back into the hallway. A burst of gunfire deafened him momentarily, and he glanced back over his shoulder in time to see a T-1000 being gunned down by two of Buffy's newly minted trainees. They worked silently and efficiently and Derek felt a savage swelling of pride.
This was what he had trained for. This was what he was good at now. Determined, he ran faster, slowing only to allow Dawn to keep up with him. They reached the escape hatch unmolested and he took the bag off her shoulder. "Go."
"You first."
"I can carry more weight than you can and climb faster. Get the hatch open and I'll be right behind you."
Dawn hesitated, worry clear in her eyes, but she finally nodded. "Fine." She climbed up the ladder easily, reaching the top and unlocking it before slowly putting her head through. "Clear," she whispered.
Derek started up the ladder after her, falling back when a bright spark exploded in front of his eyes with an accompanying roar. Falling to the ground, he had his gun aimed before he hit the floor. A Terminator was bearing down on him and he felt his heart stop for a second before its head exploded off its body.
It crumpled in a metal heap, revealing Buffy standing behind it and holding a shot gun. "Have you seen Dawn?" The Lieutenant's voice was muffled behind the ringing in Derek's ears, but he nodded.
"She's there." Derek pointed up the ladder and Dawn's voice floated back down.
"Are you hurt?"
"No."
"Then quit lying around and get your ass up there, soldier." Buffy grabbed him and yanked him to his feet hard enough that his shoes didn't touch the concrete for a moment. He didn't bother wasting more time wondering how she was so strong, instead applying all of his energy to climbing up the ladder. He was almost at the top when he heard Dawn scream and the lid banged shut.
"Dawn!" He shouted, pushing at the lid to no avail. "Dawn!"
"Derek! Help me!" Dawn's scream was closely punctuated by the sound of her firearm. Four shots and then silence.
"Dawn!"
"Move, Derek!" Buffy jerked at his foot and Derek let go, falling back to the ground to let the tiny blond pass him on the ladder. She reached the top and grabbed the handle of the lid, twisting it hard enough that the metal bent. Slowly, the lid budged and Buffy stepped up one more rung of the ladder to really throw her weight into her effort to open it. "I'm coming, Dawnie!"
Derek was halfway back up the ladder when Buffy finally got it open. She vanished from sight and he raced up the last ten feet of ladder. Smoke. Everything was smoking and Derek squinted to try and make out anything through the haze.
A giant Ferris wheel lay on its side to the left. It was covered over by shrubs and brush that survived the war. The ground was a mixture of gravel and grass, the rocks digging into his hands and knees until he stood up. An old tilt-a-whirl, so rusted that the paint job was indiscernible, lay in front of him and he instinctively ran that way. He kept quiet and stayed in a semi crouch, to make himself as small a target as possible. When he rounded the corner, his heart stopped.
It was a transport – the same as the one Kyle had been loaded into. He could see a Terminator, model unknown, dragging Dawn towards it. A shout to his right made him dive to the ground and spin. He could see Buffy fighting off to the side. She was locked in a fierce battle with what looked like a brunette girl, but the brunette ripped off a metal bar from an old concession stand with enough ease that Derek knew she had to be a skin job.
Ignoring them, Derek chased after Dawn, praying that she wasn't dead and desperate to reach her before the Machine loaded her onto the transport. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to get to her in time, he stopped and took aim. There was no way he could hit the thing's brain from this far, but he could hit it in the back.
Squeezing gently, he fired three shots. All three connected and the Terminator stumbled before turning. It spotted him immediately and dropped Dawn in an unceremonious heap to advance on him. It held up an arm, already firing its weapon at him, and Derek dove behind a booth that claimed to offer "The Ride of a Lifetime."
Heart pounding in his throat, Derek ducked as the top of the booth exploded in a shower of bullets. Then he climbed to his feet and threw himself out from behind the makeshift barrier. He fired two random shots as he ducked behind what had once been a stand for one of the rides. It was tall enough that he could stand upright and he risked a glance at Dawn. She hadn't moved.
Buffy was still fighting, although from where Derek stood it looked like she was slowly losing ground. The Terminator shot at him again, and he cursed as he yanked his head back. He'd fired five shots. That left him nine bullets.
Time. He needed more time. The Terminator was running towards him now; he could hear its metallic footfalls speeding up and getting closer. You have to take out the brain! Buffy's voice played in his brain over and over again.
When he knew that the machine was close, Derek took a breath and jumped out in front of it. A bullet whizzed by his head close enough that he could feel heat. He didn't move as the thing closed the distance between them. Carefully, he lifted his gun and took aim.
Once, twice, three times he shot it in the head. He wasn't even aware that he was screaming until his shoulder hit the dirt and the thing crashed down on top of him. It crushed the wind out of him and Derek went silent, gazing at it in horror as the red of its eye bore into him, until finally it faded.
Shoving it frantically away, Derek scrambled to his hands and knees before grabbing his firearm again and crawling towards Dawn. His left arm wouldn't hold any weight and pain shout through his shoulder, but he didn't slow down. Around him, other Terminators and soldiers were engaged in battles of their own. Explosions shook the ground and debris rained down around them all.
"Dawn, Dawn, Dawn." He chanted her name like a prayer, dragging himself over rocks and debris, until he reached her. She was bleeding from a vicious gash on the side of her head. Behind him, the transport seemed to be gearing up to leave and he looked at it desperately.
Kyle. If he followed it, he might find Kyle.
Then he looked back at Dawn and very gently moved to cover as much of her body as he could with his own. There were black spots dancing in his vision and he was having a hard time breathing. He touched her face and her head lolled lifelessly to the side. Fear, desperation and adrenaline mixed in his gut until finally he could only keen out a single, "No."
Desperately, he dropped his gun and began CPR, compressing her chest and breathing into her mouth. "Dawn, no. No, Dawnie. Come on. Come on!"
The transport began to rumble away, turning to fire a large gun into the battle. The ground rumbled and Derek threw himself over Dawn's head, trying to protect her from the debris that rained down on them both.
There were more gunshots now. It sounded like the rest of his unit had arrived, but Derek didn't move. Behind him, his chance to find Kyle was vanishing as the transport began to move away. Beneath him, Dawn coughed.
Derek's heart stopped, and he reached over to cup her chin with his hand. Dawn's breath fluttered and she opened her eyes.
"Derek?"
"I think I love you, Dawn." Derek whispered before darkness crashed around him and he knew no more.
"Reese. Derek." Buffy woke him from a nap and he sat up with a start. He'd been in medical for a week. His left arm had been dislocated, the cuts on his hands had gotten infected, and he'd sprained his right knee so badly he'd not been able to put any weight on it.
"Lieutenant."
"No, not right now." Buffy came to sit beside him. "Right now, I'm just Buffy, Dawn's older sister."
Derek managed a weak smile. "That's even scarier."
"Good." She studied him with battle weary eyes, looking far older than she was. "You saved her life."
"I tried."
"You did." Buffy reached out and gently took his hand. Her own hands were blemish free, even though Derek knew that they'd been bruised and battered only days before. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Derek shifted uncomfortably. "But I didn't do it for you."
"I know. You did it for her." Buffy sighed.
"I love her." Derek replied softly.
"Do you?" Buffy asked. "Don't you still want to go after your brother? It'll break her heart if you leave."
Derek looked down to where Buffy still held his hand. "Two months ago, I'd have killed to save Kyle. I'd have died to save him." He looked up, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I still want to see my brother again, Lieutenant, and if there is anything I can do that will free him, I'll do it. But… I still have to live in this world. And I don't want to live in a world without Dawn either."
Buffy's face softened. "It's not like it was in the movies, is it? Love isn't fireworks and flowers."
Derek shook his head. "It's nothing like the movies. It's terror and fear, firebombs and rust. But," he looked up and met her eyes steadily, "it's everything that matters."
"Dawn said you'd say that," Buffy shook her head. "Firebombs and rust, those exact words. She said you told her that once and she didn't understand what you meant."
"I've never told her that before," Derek frowned. "I've never even thought it before."
"Maybe it was in a dream, then." Buffy sighed. "But whatever it is, I wouldn't keep you apart. You're meant to be together." She stood up. "I hope you're happy, as happy as any of us can be. You deserve that much."
"Lieutenant," Derek stopped her before she left. "Was Dawn in love with someone Before? She mentioned a man that she once knew. She sounded like she was in love with him."
Buffy turned to study him quizzically. Then she smiled. "I think she's always been in love with you, Derek. She was just waiting for you to get here. I'll send her in. Her shift is over."
"Thanks." Derek lay back against the bed. "I'll see you at graduation."
"Like I'm going to let you graduate." Buffy snorted. "Don't think I didn't see you shoot that tin can in the chest first."
"I had to."
Buffy stilled. "I know. Thank you. You risked your life to save Dawn."
"It was worth it." Derek smiled at Buffy's back as she closed the door behind her. A few minutes later, Dawn came inside. Smiling at him, she crossed to the bed and kissed him. Nudging his hip with her knee, she waited until he slid over so she could lie down next to him.
"What did you and Buffy talk about?"
"Firebombs and rust." Derek answered, curiously.
Dawn smiled at him. "I love you, too." When she kissed him again, Derek decided that he really didn't care how she knew what he would say. It was miracle enough that he was able to say it at all.
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Date: 2009-04-08 03:39 am (UTC)I'm so very glad you liked it. I wanted it to be what you were looking for. I really appreciate everything you've done for me and this is just a tiny attempt to say thanks. :)
I'm also very glad you picked up on the past that's the future here. And you caught pretty much everything I was trying to imply, so that makes me ecstatic!
Steal away! Just make sure you point me towards it when you do. Hehehehe.
*HUGS*
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Date: 2009-04-07 08:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-07 10:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-08 03:41 am (UTC)