FIC: No Joking Matter (BtVS/Supernatural)
Aug. 8th, 2007 11:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ficwizeTitle: No Joking Matter
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wizefics
Fandom: BtVS/Supernatural
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Dean, Sam
Summary: Two slayers and two hunters walk inside a bar the night before zombies are scheduled to take over the world.
Recipient:rhyana at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
apocalyptothon
Warning: The end of the world is night... And... far too cheerful. And strange.
A/N: I am SO SORRY this is late. I am equally sorry that this is terrible. It is not at all what I imagined. I am willing to try my hand at this again and see if I can’t come up with something more in line with the challenge theme, but the muse just wouldn’t cooperate!
As always, feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Even if it’s critical.
***************
Two slayers…
It began like every other apocalypse… in a vast array of confusion.
“I don’t see anything about zombies in this book.” Xander let another heavy, leather bound tome of ancient knowledge land on the table with a crash. “Are you sure it’s zombies?”
Faith and Buffy exchanged an uncertain look, but they nodded in unison.
“Yep. Zombies.” Buffy crossed her heart for emphasis. “Slayer dreams don’t lie, Xander.”
“Yeah, but having shared one with you once, they don’t really make that much sense, either.” He muttered.
“He has a point.” Faith grinned at Buffy. “If you saw what I saw, you didn’t see much that made sense.”
“We were in the same dream,” Buffy pointed out. Noting Xander’s suddenly focused interest on the conversation, she turned to glare at him. “Yes, we were both fully dressed the whole time.”
“Not the whole time,” Faith murmured, shooting Buffy a mischievous look which the blonde slayer ignored.
“Back to the matter at hand,” Giles sounded pained, “what else can you remember? Any detail might point us in the right direction, no matter how small.”
“Like what?”
“Like are we talking Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead type zombies?” Xander asked, taking another book from the pile that Willow was stacking in front of him.
“Why would that matter?” Giles sounded exasperated.
“If it’s Night of the Living Dead,” Willow piped up, head appearing from behind a book that she’d been reading, “we could probably out run them if we had to.”
“Hey!” Xander sounded inordinately pleased. “Willow in for the win with random zombie knowledge!”
“I have picked up something from being your friend all these years.” She sounded pleased with herself as well, and Giles had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.
“They are hardly likely to manifest the symptoms of Hollywood zombies.”
Buffy was looking thoughtful. “Actually, they were more like Shawn of the Dead…”
“Yeah!” Faith laughed, turning towards Buffy in excitement. “I loved that movie! The scene where Shawn and Ed keep beating the zombie woman over the head and she just won’t die was hysterical.”
The silence that followed that pronouncement was deep. Around the room, the Scoobies looked at each other with a renewed sense of dread.
“I think there may be some more books in the back,” Willow stood up suddenly. Xander stood up fast enough that he knocked his chair over. “I’ll go with you.”
“Give me one of those,” Buffy grabbed the book from the top of the stack and sat down to begin reading.
After a moment, Faith did the same. “I guess it wouldn’t be so funny in real life,” she muttered.
*****************************
Two hunters …
“I don’t know, Dean…” Sam tossed the bright yellow book down on the seat between them. “I’m not sure that’s really going to help much.”
“Dude, it’s a book about surviving Zombie attacks!” Dean shook his head at Sam’s stupidity. “Did you read the title? The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks.” He reached over and held it up like Vanna White, keeping one eye on the road and one hand on the wheel, but still managing to give a blinding smile.
“Yes, I read the title.” Sam glared at Dean. “Can’t you take this seriously? And watch the road!”
“You’re just jealous.” Dean shrugged. “Because for once, I am the one who came up with the useful literature.”
“You found a fiction book about zombies… don’t congratulate yourself yet.” Sam answered wryly.
“What did you find?” Dean shot back.
Sam scowled.
“That’s what I thought… nothing.” Dean grinned at his brother. “You can say it… I owned your ass on this one.”
Sam raised an eyebrow and snorted. “It’s not my ass you should worry about. If the vision is true… this whole place will be overrun by zombies.”
“Yeah… about that,” Dean dropped the book back on the seat. “Did this vision come with a time table?”
“No.” Sam retorted grumpily. “I already told you that.”
Dean reached for the radio, flipping randomly through the stations looking for news. “Well it doesn’t seem like its going to be tonight.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, it is. I’m starving. And I don’t really feel like eating brains for dinner.” Dean grinned and Sam resisted the urge to throw the bright yellow book at his brother’s head.
“It’s not funny, Dean!”
Dean snickered, shooting Sam an amused look. “Well… it kind of is.”
“How?”
Dean couldn’t quite meet his brothers eyes and he shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worried about it, idiot! And you should be too! The vision was bad…” he trailed off when Dean’s lips quirked up in s smile he couldn’t quite hide.
“WHAT?” Sam shouted.
Dean shrugged. “It’s just… you had your vision… you came to…”
Sam waited, but Dean didn’t seem inclined to continue. “And?”
“And the first thing you talk about isn’t the zombies… it’s the girls.”
Sam stared at Dean with his mouth hanging open. “What?!”
Dean’s grin got bigger. “You had a vision about zombies, dude. And all you could do is talk about the girls.”
“Did you hear what I was saying about them, Dean? Or did the testosterone surge block your hearing?”
“I was listening. You said one blonde and one brunette.”
“They were fighting the zombies, idiot!” Sam rolled his eyes, and then got a mischievous glint in his eyes. “And either one of them could have handed you your ass.”
Dean snorted. “Keep adjusting the antennae, Mork. You’re definitely getting a fuzzy signal.”
This time it was Sam’s turn to grin. “You keep thinking that…”
“Whatever.” Dean suddenly changed lanes. “There it is! Sunnydale, California.” He eyed Sam speculatively. “Why do you think you got such a strong image of the location?”
For the first time, Sam looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Usually the visions are so vague… For some reason, this one wasn’t.”
Dean looked at Sam briefly, then stared out from the window. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
******************************
Walk into a bar …
“B, I’m beat.” Faith jumped up and sat on the table next to where Buffy was trying to read through a book that she vaguely suspected was written in ancient Hebrew. “Everyone else is taking a break. We should, too.”
“Don’t you think that taking a break is a bit risky?” Buffy tried turning the book upside down and stared a picture to see if it made anymore sense that way.
“I think that relying on your interpretation of the books is a bit risky.” Faith grinned. “And I could use a drink.”
“The end of the world is any minute and you want a drink.” Buffy allowed herself to be dragged to her feet.
“The end of the world is always just about to happen. Seems like we get an apocalypse a year around this place.” Faith stretched. “But I still want a drink.”
“Fine.” Buffy snagged a book as they walked out. “But I’m going to keep reading.”
“You don’t think you’ll attract attention by reading about zombies?”
“Not with this book.” Buffy grinned and held it out, yellow cover blazing. “It’s popular media.”
“You’re a dork.”
“But I’m always prepared!”
Faith ignored the blonde slayer, stopping only long enough to write a quick note which she stuck in the middle of Giles’ chair. “Now, we’re good to go.”
“I’m sure Giles will accept a note to get us out of the beginning of the apocalypse.” Buffy retorted, wryly, but she didn’t protest as Faith led the way to the car. Climbing into the passenger side (she never really had mastered the concept of driving), Buffy let her thoughts drift as they drove to wherever Faith was taking them.
She’d faced zombies before. It had been destructive, but they’d emerged from it okay in the end. Of course, that time hadn’t merited the full on Slayer-Chosen-One-Dream-Share that she and Faith had experienced the night before. “Zombies…”
“I know!” Faith controlled the car easily as she sped down the road. “How lame!”
“I was thinking less lame and more… icky.”
“Brains, right?” Faith shook her head and jerked the car into a parking lot and into a space with a squealing noise and a shudder. She looked over to where Buffy was gripping the door handle with a death grip. “Relax, B. You’ve got Slayer strength for a reason…”
“Not to survive your driving!” Buffy opened the door and staggered out.
An hour later, Buffy ordered a second drink and Faith asked for a menu, before nudging Buffy in the ribs. “Check out the hotties that just walked through the door!”
As casually as possible, Buffy turned to peek over her shoulder and saw to guys standing in the door looking around indecisively. “Nice,” the blonde slayer agreed. The taller one nudged the shorter man and nodded in their direction and Buffy turned around in a hurry. “I think he saw me looking!”
“Good job!” Faith tossed her hair and prepared to flash her best smile at the boys when they got to the table. “I call dibbs on the tall one.”
“Hello, ladies.” A liquid smooth voice brought both of their attention to the left, where the shorter man was standing. “How are you this evening?
“Better now that you’re here,” Faith smiled back, earning a slightly incredulous look from Buffy. “Care to join us?”
“Actually…” the taller one spoke up, but the other one cut him off.
“We don’t mind if we do.” He slid into the booth next to Buffy. “I’m Dean. That’s my little brother, Sam.”
“Brothers?” Faith looked between them. “Good looks run in the family, I see.”
Dean flashed her a smile that would have melted butter in a blizzard. “And you would be?”
“Hoping you ask me to dance.” Faith had obviously changed her mind. Dean gave Sam a look that had the younger brother rolling his eyes.
“I’m Buffy,” Buffy interrupted, shooting Faith a cool-it glare.
“And I’m Faith.”
“Can I buy either of you ladies a drink?” Dean offered, but jumped when Sam kicked him under the table. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“We didn’t come here to pick up dates,” Sam hissed, earning both an exasperated glare from Dean and suspicious looks from both of the girls.
“Oh? What are you here to pick up?” Faith asked, her voice deceptively quiet.
“We came looking for you, actually.” Sam replied, reaching into his pocket. Faith grabbed his hand before he could move it, immobilizing him without even straining.
“Why?”
“Hey! Let him go!” Dean started to stand up, but Buffy dragged him back into the seat with one quick flick of her wrist, her fingers tangling in the back of his shirt.
“Tell us what you want first.”
Dean was staring at her incredulously. “What are you? On every steroid known to man?”
“Do you see any facial hair?” Faith demanded, her eyes hard. “Who sent you?”
“No one!” Sam answered hastily, wincing at the pressure on his wrist.
“What are you?”
“Huh?” Sam looked at Buffy like she had two heads. “What do you mean ‘what’?”
“She means what, as in what are you?” Faith repeated, leaning towards Sam aggressively. “Demon? Vampire? Did you think that two slayers under your belt would make you scarier to your bumpy headed friends?”
Sam gapsed as her fingers ground the tendons of his wrist hard enough that his hand went numb. “We’re not anything!”
“He means we’re human.” Dean’s voice was cold as he eyed the two women at the table. “Slayers? I thought that was a myth.”
“Surprise,” Buffy replied, watching him closely.
“Dean…” Sam’s voice was pained, but calm. “What’s going on?”
“They’re claiming to be slayers.” Dean answered calmly, eyeing the two women consideringly.
“It’s the truth, buddy boy.” Faith leaned over the table, her expression semi-provocative, but her eyes promising nothing pleasurable.
“Can’t be.” Dean replied. “There’s only one.”
“In all the world,” Buffy chimed in. “Yadda yadda yadda. We know the job description, but things change.”
Dean looked at he curiously now. “How much do they change?”
“There’s more than one now.” Buffy replied, smiling sweetly, but her eyes promising that she was more than capable of handling anything he could dish out. “Now that you know who we are, why don’t you tell us who you are?”
“We’re Hunters.” Sam answered hastily, trying again to pull his wrist from Faith’s grip.
“Uh huh.” Faith tossed Buffy a glance and the two women shared a small, but amused smile. “Rogue demon hunters, I suppose?”
“Something like that.” Dean growled. “Let go of my brother. We’re cooperating, although with a welcome like this, we should really just leave this hell hole to you.”
“Hell Mouth,” Buffy corrected, absently. “What do you mean that you should leave it to us?”
“This whole place is about to go down,” Sam warned, pitching his voice to be dramatic.
Surprised, Faith let him go. “What do you know about it?”
“I have visions… dreams….”
Faith snorted, and Dean raised an eyebrow. “You find that hard to believe Xena?”
“The name is Faith, and yeah, I do.” Faith retorted aggressively, but Buffy held up her hands, stopping them. Looking at Sam she nodded at him.
“What kind of dreams and visions?”
The younger man hesitated, but he met her eyes earnestly when he replied. “Zombies.”
“I don’t friggin believe it!” Faith was staring at him now in astonishment.
“Believe it,” Dean replied, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the by now familiar yellow book. “We’re the cavalry.”
Looking at the book in dismay, Buffy reached into her purse and pulled out an identical copy. “Then we’re doomed.”
********************************
… and it’s not the start of a joke…
“Giles says that the signs are pointing to a bit closer than we would have liked,” Buffy slid into the seat next to Dean, shooting him an apologetic glace for slayer-handling him earlier.
“How much earlier?” Faith asked, eating a chip piled high with salsa as she waited for the answer.
“Early like… tomorrow…” Buffy grimaced.
“And we trust Giles?” Sam asked, hesitantly.
“If the Librarian says it’s so, then it’s so.” Faith muttered around the chip in her mouth that no longer tasted good.
“He’s my Watcher.” Buffy added, at Dean’s skeptical look. When he nodded, she frowned. “Tell me again how you know so much about Slayers?”
“My dad.” Dean answered shortly. When he received two blank looks he sighed. “He made it a point to know about things like that. He always told me that the bad guys talked about Slayers like you were a myth.”
“Wishful thinking…” Buffy sighed.
“You boys sound like you’ve had an interesting life.”
“You have no idea..” Dean replied.
“I have a pretty good guess,” Faith replied dryly. The four of them sat in silence, staring at each other over the table. Around them, people laughed and talked and danced and made sly plans to go to each other’s houses for the night.
“So…” Dean suddenly piped up, reaching to the center of the table and picking up a copy of the book. “What did you think about the suggestion for pipe bombs?”
His question broke the ice and the four of them grinned at each other.
“I thought the section on Molotov cocktails promised to be more helpful,” Faith responded. "Fire, you know..."
“Uh huh,” Buffy shook her head. “The shot guns.”
“I’d go with the arcane symbols…” Sam suggested, his expression thoughtful.
Author:
wizeficsFandom: BtVS/Supernatural
Characters: Buffy, Faith, Dean, Sam
Summary: Two slayers and two hunters walk inside a bar the night before zombies are scheduled to take over the world.
Recipient:
rhyana at apocalyptothonWarning: The end of the world is night... And... far too cheerful. And strange.
A/N: I am SO SORRY this is late. I am equally sorry that this is terrible. It is not at all what I imagined. I am willing to try my hand at this again and see if I can’t come up with something more in line with the challenge theme, but the muse just wouldn’t cooperate!
As always, feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Even if it’s critical.
***************
Two slayers…
It began like every other apocalypse… in a vast array of confusion.
“I don’t see anything about zombies in this book.” Xander let another heavy, leather bound tome of ancient knowledge land on the table with a crash. “Are you sure it’s zombies?”
Faith and Buffy exchanged an uncertain look, but they nodded in unison.
“Yep. Zombies.” Buffy crossed her heart for emphasis. “Slayer dreams don’t lie, Xander.”
“Yeah, but having shared one with you once, they don’t really make that much sense, either.” He muttered.
“He has a point.” Faith grinned at Buffy. “If you saw what I saw, you didn’t see much that made sense.”
“We were in the same dream,” Buffy pointed out. Noting Xander’s suddenly focused interest on the conversation, she turned to glare at him. “Yes, we were both fully dressed the whole time.”
“Not the whole time,” Faith murmured, shooting Buffy a mischievous look which the blonde slayer ignored.
“Back to the matter at hand,” Giles sounded pained, “what else can you remember? Any detail might point us in the right direction, no matter how small.”
“Like what?”
“Like are we talking Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead type zombies?” Xander asked, taking another book from the pile that Willow was stacking in front of him.
“Why would that matter?” Giles sounded exasperated.
“If it’s Night of the Living Dead,” Willow piped up, head appearing from behind a book that she’d been reading, “we could probably out run them if we had to.”
“Hey!” Xander sounded inordinately pleased. “Willow in for the win with random zombie knowledge!”
“I have picked up something from being your friend all these years.” She sounded pleased with herself as well, and Giles had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.
“They are hardly likely to manifest the symptoms of Hollywood zombies.”
Buffy was looking thoughtful. “Actually, they were more like Shawn of the Dead…”
“Yeah!” Faith laughed, turning towards Buffy in excitement. “I loved that movie! The scene where Shawn and Ed keep beating the zombie woman over the head and she just won’t die was hysterical.”
The silence that followed that pronouncement was deep. Around the room, the Scoobies looked at each other with a renewed sense of dread.
“I think there may be some more books in the back,” Willow stood up suddenly. Xander stood up fast enough that he knocked his chair over. “I’ll go with you.”
“Give me one of those,” Buffy grabbed the book from the top of the stack and sat down to begin reading.
After a moment, Faith did the same. “I guess it wouldn’t be so funny in real life,” she muttered.
*****************************
Two hunters …
“I don’t know, Dean…” Sam tossed the bright yellow book down on the seat between them. “I’m not sure that’s really going to help much.”
“Dude, it’s a book about surviving Zombie attacks!” Dean shook his head at Sam’s stupidity. “Did you read the title? The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks.” He reached over and held it up like Vanna White, keeping one eye on the road and one hand on the wheel, but still managing to give a blinding smile.
“Yes, I read the title.” Sam glared at Dean. “Can’t you take this seriously? And watch the road!”
“You’re just jealous.” Dean shrugged. “Because for once, I am the one who came up with the useful literature.”
“You found a fiction book about zombies… don’t congratulate yourself yet.” Sam answered wryly.
“What did you find?” Dean shot back.
Sam scowled.
“That’s what I thought… nothing.” Dean grinned at his brother. “You can say it… I owned your ass on this one.”
Sam raised an eyebrow and snorted. “It’s not my ass you should worry about. If the vision is true… this whole place will be overrun by zombies.”
“Yeah… about that,” Dean dropped the book back on the seat. “Did this vision come with a time table?”
“No.” Sam retorted grumpily. “I already told you that.”
Dean reached for the radio, flipping randomly through the stations looking for news. “Well it doesn’t seem like its going to be tonight.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, it is. I’m starving. And I don’t really feel like eating brains for dinner.” Dean grinned and Sam resisted the urge to throw the bright yellow book at his brother’s head.
“It’s not funny, Dean!”
Dean snickered, shooting Sam an amused look. “Well… it kind of is.”
“How?”
Dean couldn’t quite meet his brothers eyes and he shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worried about it, idiot! And you should be too! The vision was bad…” he trailed off when Dean’s lips quirked up in s smile he couldn’t quite hide.
“WHAT?” Sam shouted.
Dean shrugged. “It’s just… you had your vision… you came to…”
Sam waited, but Dean didn’t seem inclined to continue. “And?”
“And the first thing you talk about isn’t the zombies… it’s the girls.”
Sam stared at Dean with his mouth hanging open. “What?!”
Dean’s grin got bigger. “You had a vision about zombies, dude. And all you could do is talk about the girls.”
“Did you hear what I was saying about them, Dean? Or did the testosterone surge block your hearing?”
“I was listening. You said one blonde and one brunette.”
“They were fighting the zombies, idiot!” Sam rolled his eyes, and then got a mischievous glint in his eyes. “And either one of them could have handed you your ass.”
Dean snorted. “Keep adjusting the antennae, Mork. You’re definitely getting a fuzzy signal.”
This time it was Sam’s turn to grin. “You keep thinking that…”
“Whatever.” Dean suddenly changed lanes. “There it is! Sunnydale, California.” He eyed Sam speculatively. “Why do you think you got such a strong image of the location?”
For the first time, Sam looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Usually the visions are so vague… For some reason, this one wasn’t.”
Dean looked at Sam briefly, then stared out from the window. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
******************************
Walk into a bar …
“B, I’m beat.” Faith jumped up and sat on the table next to where Buffy was trying to read through a book that she vaguely suspected was written in ancient Hebrew. “Everyone else is taking a break. We should, too.”
“Don’t you think that taking a break is a bit risky?” Buffy tried turning the book upside down and stared a picture to see if it made anymore sense that way.
“I think that relying on your interpretation of the books is a bit risky.” Faith grinned. “And I could use a drink.”
“The end of the world is any minute and you want a drink.” Buffy allowed herself to be dragged to her feet.
“The end of the world is always just about to happen. Seems like we get an apocalypse a year around this place.” Faith stretched. “But I still want a drink.”
“Fine.” Buffy snagged a book as they walked out. “But I’m going to keep reading.”
“You don’t think you’ll attract attention by reading about zombies?”
“Not with this book.” Buffy grinned and held it out, yellow cover blazing. “It’s popular media.”
“You’re a dork.”
“But I’m always prepared!”
Faith ignored the blonde slayer, stopping only long enough to write a quick note which she stuck in the middle of Giles’ chair. “Now, we’re good to go.”
“I’m sure Giles will accept a note to get us out of the beginning of the apocalypse.” Buffy retorted, wryly, but she didn’t protest as Faith led the way to the car. Climbing into the passenger side (she never really had mastered the concept of driving), Buffy let her thoughts drift as they drove to wherever Faith was taking them.
She’d faced zombies before. It had been destructive, but they’d emerged from it okay in the end. Of course, that time hadn’t merited the full on Slayer-Chosen-One-Dream-Share that she and Faith had experienced the night before. “Zombies…”
“I know!” Faith controlled the car easily as she sped down the road. “How lame!”
“I was thinking less lame and more… icky.”
“Brains, right?” Faith shook her head and jerked the car into a parking lot and into a space with a squealing noise and a shudder. She looked over to where Buffy was gripping the door handle with a death grip. “Relax, B. You’ve got Slayer strength for a reason…”
“Not to survive your driving!” Buffy opened the door and staggered out.
An hour later, Buffy ordered a second drink and Faith asked for a menu, before nudging Buffy in the ribs. “Check out the hotties that just walked through the door!”
As casually as possible, Buffy turned to peek over her shoulder and saw to guys standing in the door looking around indecisively. “Nice,” the blonde slayer agreed. The taller one nudged the shorter man and nodded in their direction and Buffy turned around in a hurry. “I think he saw me looking!”
“Good job!” Faith tossed her hair and prepared to flash her best smile at the boys when they got to the table. “I call dibbs on the tall one.”
“Hello, ladies.” A liquid smooth voice brought both of their attention to the left, where the shorter man was standing. “How are you this evening?
“Better now that you’re here,” Faith smiled back, earning a slightly incredulous look from Buffy. “Care to join us?”
“Actually…” the taller one spoke up, but the other one cut him off.
“We don’t mind if we do.” He slid into the booth next to Buffy. “I’m Dean. That’s my little brother, Sam.”
“Brothers?” Faith looked between them. “Good looks run in the family, I see.”
Dean flashed her a smile that would have melted butter in a blizzard. “And you would be?”
“Hoping you ask me to dance.” Faith had obviously changed her mind. Dean gave Sam a look that had the younger brother rolling his eyes.
“I’m Buffy,” Buffy interrupted, shooting Faith a cool-it glare.
“And I’m Faith.”
“Can I buy either of you ladies a drink?” Dean offered, but jumped when Sam kicked him under the table. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“We didn’t come here to pick up dates,” Sam hissed, earning both an exasperated glare from Dean and suspicious looks from both of the girls.
“Oh? What are you here to pick up?” Faith asked, her voice deceptively quiet.
“We came looking for you, actually.” Sam replied, reaching into his pocket. Faith grabbed his hand before he could move it, immobilizing him without even straining.
“Why?”
“Hey! Let him go!” Dean started to stand up, but Buffy dragged him back into the seat with one quick flick of her wrist, her fingers tangling in the back of his shirt.
“Tell us what you want first.”
Dean was staring at her incredulously. “What are you? On every steroid known to man?”
“Do you see any facial hair?” Faith demanded, her eyes hard. “Who sent you?”
“No one!” Sam answered hastily, wincing at the pressure on his wrist.
“What are you?”
“Huh?” Sam looked at Buffy like she had two heads. “What do you mean ‘what’?”
“She means what, as in what are you?” Faith repeated, leaning towards Sam aggressively. “Demon? Vampire? Did you think that two slayers under your belt would make you scarier to your bumpy headed friends?”
Sam gapsed as her fingers ground the tendons of his wrist hard enough that his hand went numb. “We’re not anything!”
“He means we’re human.” Dean’s voice was cold as he eyed the two women at the table. “Slayers? I thought that was a myth.”
“Surprise,” Buffy replied, watching him closely.
“Dean…” Sam’s voice was pained, but calm. “What’s going on?”
“They’re claiming to be slayers.” Dean answered calmly, eyeing the two women consideringly.
“It’s the truth, buddy boy.” Faith leaned over the table, her expression semi-provocative, but her eyes promising nothing pleasurable.
“Can’t be.” Dean replied. “There’s only one.”
“In all the world,” Buffy chimed in. “Yadda yadda yadda. We know the job description, but things change.”
Dean looked at he curiously now. “How much do they change?”
“There’s more than one now.” Buffy replied, smiling sweetly, but her eyes promising that she was more than capable of handling anything he could dish out. “Now that you know who we are, why don’t you tell us who you are?”
“We’re Hunters.” Sam answered hastily, trying again to pull his wrist from Faith’s grip.
“Uh huh.” Faith tossed Buffy a glance and the two women shared a small, but amused smile. “Rogue demon hunters, I suppose?”
“Something like that.” Dean growled. “Let go of my brother. We’re cooperating, although with a welcome like this, we should really just leave this hell hole to you.”
“Hell Mouth,” Buffy corrected, absently. “What do you mean that you should leave it to us?”
“This whole place is about to go down,” Sam warned, pitching his voice to be dramatic.
Surprised, Faith let him go. “What do you know about it?”
“I have visions… dreams….”
Faith snorted, and Dean raised an eyebrow. “You find that hard to believe Xena?”
“The name is Faith, and yeah, I do.” Faith retorted aggressively, but Buffy held up her hands, stopping them. Looking at Sam she nodded at him.
“What kind of dreams and visions?”
The younger man hesitated, but he met her eyes earnestly when he replied. “Zombies.”
“I don’t friggin believe it!” Faith was staring at him now in astonishment.
“Believe it,” Dean replied, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the by now familiar yellow book. “We’re the cavalry.”
Looking at the book in dismay, Buffy reached into her purse and pulled out an identical copy. “Then we’re doomed.”
********************************
… and it’s not the start of a joke…
“Giles says that the signs are pointing to a bit closer than we would have liked,” Buffy slid into the seat next to Dean, shooting him an apologetic glace for slayer-handling him earlier.
“How much earlier?” Faith asked, eating a chip piled high with salsa as she waited for the answer.
“Early like… tomorrow…” Buffy grimaced.
“And we trust Giles?” Sam asked, hesitantly.
“If the Librarian says it’s so, then it’s so.” Faith muttered around the chip in her mouth that no longer tasted good.
“He’s my Watcher.” Buffy added, at Dean’s skeptical look. When he nodded, she frowned. “Tell me again how you know so much about Slayers?”
“My dad.” Dean answered shortly. When he received two blank looks he sighed. “He made it a point to know about things like that. He always told me that the bad guys talked about Slayers like you were a myth.”
“Wishful thinking…” Buffy sighed.
“You boys sound like you’ve had an interesting life.”
“You have no idea..” Dean replied.
“I have a pretty good guess,” Faith replied dryly. The four of them sat in silence, staring at each other over the table. Around them, people laughed and talked and danced and made sly plans to go to each other’s houses for the night.
“So…” Dean suddenly piped up, reaching to the center of the table and picking up a copy of the book. “What did you think about the suggestion for pipe bombs?”
His question broke the ice and the four of them grinned at each other.
“I thought the section on Molotov cocktails promised to be more helpful,” Faith responded. "Fire, you know..."
“Uh huh,” Buffy shook her head. “The shot guns.”
“I’d go with the arcane symbols…” Sam suggested, his expression thoughtful.
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no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 05:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 01:08 pm (UTC)It just turned out so differently from what I had wanted. I ended up really frustrated with this one by the time I finished it.
I'm glad you liked it, though! Thanks. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 01:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 02:59 pm (UTC)It *really* didn't turn out how I'd anticipated... I'd be more than happy to write another one with this same idea if you're interested. I just ran out of time and I wanted to give you something...
And I love the Zombie Survival Guide. I *knew* that was going to make it into the fic somehow! *lol*
no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 08:43 pm (UTC)A follow-up, hmmmm?
That's actually not a bad idea. I could flesh out what I didn't like and see if I can't salvage my original plan...
I shall ponder!
Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-10 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-10 02:53 am (UTC)I'm really glad you enjoyed this!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-10 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-10 01:13 pm (UTC)I'm also glad you liked the structure of the fic. Thanks for letting me know what you thought!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-11 12:33 pm (UTC)And I loved how Dean clearly focused on what was important about Sam's vision.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-07 12:43 am (UTC)